Dave's Thoughts of the Day: April 1st

You don't want to miss our "Dave in the City" podcast tonight at 10pm Eastern!!  Trust me on this one, and I promise this is not an April Fool's joke... we DO have a podcast tonight!  We'll have some guests...  can't say who exactly but some familiar names will be in effect.   Be there!  We might even do a twist on Random Questions called "Random Answers" where we ask the chat room the questions instead, then read their answers.

People might think this is an April Fool's prank too, but we do, earnestly, have a Wrestlemania podcast coming up on Wednesday night.   I did this with all good intentions and I look forward from hearing from my friends about Wrestlemania's greatest moments.  I gotta tell ya, I don't think any of them will involve this year's show, I mean some joker named "Randy Orton" and another one named "Daniel Bryan?"   Do these names scare anybody?  Those guys sound like insurance agents.   Ooooooooh run for the hills RANDY ORTON is coming to town!!  Oooooooooooooohhhh!

When I was a kid, wrestlers had colorful names like HOLLYWOOD Hulk Hogan, Hot Roddy Piper, Macho Man Randy Savage, Andre the Giant, and a whole bunch of other memorably named wrestling icons.  Now we just give the wrestlers regular names?  Even the one with a fancy name: "Fandango" well-- I mean fandango is a movie ticket service with talking paper bags... I usually wouldn't try to fight with a fandango.

I think if you want a guy who could put a scare into people, one with a name that'd put legitimate fear into other guys, I'd go out and make a character called "THE OCCUPANT", well ok I need to make a correction.  The character was already made by John in Brooklyn aka "Bread."   I owe it to Bread for creating an entire dark comedy genre a year ago... and I tell you the OCCUPANT would be a great WWE wrestler.  People would not mess with him.

My next WWE character would be "Peaches", and the beauty of a name like Peaches is that it could be the name of a guy or a woman... As I remember it, there's a female recording artist that was known as "Peaches" in the 1980's.  Peaches would be a colorful character, perhaps sweet too.  Peaches would bring a lot of juice.

Next up, although this is a borrowed moniker, I'd make a character called "THE CAPTAIN."  And you'd go "the Captain of what?"   Oh he goes HAM my friends... wherever he goes he takes command of the room and owns it.  That's why he's "THE CAPTAIN."   Forks and remotes cower in his presence.  Don't you dare bring up Eduardo Nunez to him!

Lastly as a nod to my boy Beebs, I'd set up a character known as "The Agency" and he'd have anyone's back in a Tag Team match.  One part cool, two parts lean, he makes it happen for your team.

Well ok one more... "THE JUNK MAN."  Throw any question, comment, or other thing at him and he'll whip up brilliance.

ok... ONE more... we'll bring into the ring THE OAT MAN... he has a way with words, and he can sing along to any lyric anywhere any time.  If you come at him, you best not miss!

.....can I do one more?

We have to have a heel in this whole thing, so we'll call him "Caruso", and after every match he'll go to the microphone and yell "I CALLED IT."

I had more, but I think I'll save it for later.  Have a great Tuesday!