Arizona: *Finally* Super!

It's been 43 seasons in the making, but the Arizona Cardinals are finally in the big dance!

It's great to finally see the once-moribund Cardinals play in the Super Bowl. I've always looked at that team as "the poor Cardinals." From the day the Phoenix area hosted its first Super Bowl (XXX, played 13 years ago), I thought "Wow, poor Cardinals, they'll host all these Super Bowls and never make it to one."

Finally, they have arrived. How? Well, it took some amazing performances by Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald, and all those defensive players who intercepted the ball. Turnovers were key in their ride to the Super Bowl.

But no matter what happens, the Cards have had their dream season. Now let's take a look at the teams who are still waiting for their Super Bowl.

Browns -- This might not count since the original Browns already won it all 8 seasons ago.
Lions -- hah! Good luck ever making it in my lifetime. It may take a lot.
Texans -- They show positive signs of success, so I could see them in the big game soon enough.
Jaguars -- There were several good runs at it, but still no luck. I'm still surprised to this day how badly they played in 2008!
Saints -- They have the QB, Brees; they have the RBs, Thomas and Bush; they have the WRs, Colston, Moore, and Henderson. If they could get a defense, why not?


In today's NFL I get the feeling most of these teams will eventually make it. After Super Bowl XXXVIII, I said "if the Panthers can make it, *anybody* can make it!"

More to come, as we get closer to the big game!!

Week 16: Hardest LOCKS of the Week Evah!!!

Regis: And now, Dave, for the Million Dollar question...
Dave: Ok, what is it?
Regis: For 1 MILLION Dollars... WHO will cover the spread in the Carolina/Giants game?

[dramatic music]

Dave: um... can I have a lifeline???

like...

Dave's (slam!)
LOCKS (blam!)
of the Week (squeak)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 16

Holy Moly! Is this the hardest LOCKS of the Week in LOTW history or what? Every single game on the schedule has a line of 7.5 points per less. How would any bettor succeed in this environment? We shall try, hard as we might...

To the picks!!

First, for the easy one. This would be like the 100 dollar question in "Millionaire." Stuff like "What is the number that comes after 1 and 2?" or "Will the Pats cover (-7.5) at home vs Arizona?"

Easy money!! Are you kidding? The Cardinals are really clunking down the stretch. After that laugher against Minnesota, and with the Pats fighting for their lives, and with a QB that loves to turn the ball over anyway, the Cardinals are going to get POUNDED this Sunday. Give the points and let NE steamroll the cardnials so that their breathren Vultures can com after them. Pats ALL OVER the Cardinals...

Next! BACK to Detroit we go... Mooo-tor City. It's too bad the Lions (+7.0) can't get a bailout like the Auto Industry. What a drag. Instead, they'll try to salvage an otherwise win-less season by facing the New Orleans Saints who are absoultely FINISHED in the NFC South. Bush is now out, the Lions have been playing hard all year, the winds of change are upon us... Give it to Detroit and shoo-be-doo, doo-woooooop, LIONS COVER (+7) BABY!!

Finally we head a little west to the Land O' Lakes in Minneapolis. The Vikings appear to be hot, but they're really just average. Sure they won back to back games, but who doesn't? It's the NFL! Even the Rams won back to back games this year. The Vikes face the visiting Falcons, and its going to be the greatest running matchup alive: the Vikes top rated rush defense vs the Falcons #1 rated running game. I'M CALLING FOR THE UPSET! The Falcons are going on the road with their superior, albeit rookie, QB and shocking the NFL. Atlanta is a (+3.5) dog and they will win outright baby! Atlanta covers!

Pencils down! Those are your specials here on

Dave's (blip blop!)
LOCKS (crinkle!)
of the Week (squish!)

Season's Greetings all and MERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY CHRISTMAS!
and Happy Holidays to everyone out there.


Recap: Pats (-7.5) cover at home; Lions (+7.0) cover at home; Falcons (+3.5) cover at Minnesota

Week 15: Dave's QUICKIES of the Week!

Once again we're back at it again, here to bring you good pick until the end.
A week ago we were 0-3, but this time we'll pick 'em rightfully
So don your gay apparel high, and witness here as we try

Dave's (ring!)
LOCKS (ding!)
of the Week (dong!)

The Holidays are upon us indeed. Pretty soon Hanukah arrives and then the big one... Christmas Day. May we commercialize to our hearts content!! Now then, let's round our our season with a bang, starting here with Week 15's big time LOCKS of the Week.

To the picks!!

To ARIZONA we go... Would you believe the Cardinals have no line against the visiting Vikings? Is that for real? No line??? Take the Cards!! They're stellar at home and figure to be a cinch against the mediocre Vikes... EASY MONEY! Cards (no line) win outright at home vs the Land-o-Lakes

Now let's soar like a Cardinal from Glendale to the Queen City. On the banks of the river, the Bungles play out their season on a string. Poor Bungles... so much hype for so little output. The Bungles had their run, but now they flat out SUCK. They're getting 7 points at home against the Redskins, but the 'skins are mad! They've been lashing out at each other, and now will want to dominate to get back on track. I think the Redskins cover the (-7.0) and get a huge win at Cincinnati!

Finally let's float down a few rivers from Cincinnati to Baltimore. Time for some Crabcakes and delicious seafood. Imagine a Ravens fan this weekend: hmm, Crabcakes or a Ravens game? Both look ugly, but get me results! If ever the Ravens looked like a LOCK to win, this was the game. The Steelers are riding high but highly beat up. Their offensive line has been weak all year long. Joe Flacco is servicable, which is all you ask for as a Ravens fan. I like the Ravens a lot! The Ravens are (-2.0) favorites and I like them to get it done. Ravens cover the (-2.0) at home.

Ho Ho Ho!! Season's Greetings on

Dave's (blink!)
LOCKS (clump!)
of the Week (bonk!)

Only a few days until Christmas! Stay safe out there!!

Recap: Cardinals (no line) win outright at home; Redskins (-7.0) cover at Cincy; Ravens (-2.0) cover at home

The Cowboys... are who we THOUGHT they were!

GLENDALE -- Fans won't need rocket science to dissect the Cardinals' big 30-26 win over the Cowboys today, in overtime.

Lousy Pass Defense + Awful Turnover Ratio + Cardinals Home Field Advantage = A crushing Cowboys loss.

It's particularly deflating, because their big rival Washington lost to the Rams at Landover. Imagine that Cowboys' locker room tonight. Could this be a wake up call?

Week 5: The Great LOCKS Debate... of the week

Thursday, Capitol Hill

Speaker of the House: Hear! Hear! We are here to decide on Dave's LOCKS.

Congressman: Are we bailing out Dave's LOCKS of the Week?

Speaker: No!!! We're gonna whisper some good advice and get him back on his feet!

It's

Dave's (bang! bang!)
LOCKS (BONG!)
of the Week (clickclickclickclickclick...)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 5

Hey everybody! Hope your bank accounts are safe and sound, or present. Take whatever you can get... stocks are on shaky ground, just like Lane Kiffin was last week. WHERE'S MY RIMSHOT?!

Anyway, if the Stock Market was a betting website, it'd be this place. Whoof! 0-3 last week? My goodness!! Duck for cover now!! Let's turn that bear into a bull shall we?

To the picks!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need a little karma here, so let's go in reverse order:

LAST we go to the Valley of the Sun, Glendale, Arizona!! In the Valley of the Sun is a beautiful new stadium so eloquently named for a commuter college. Fantastic! It's the Arizona Cardinals hosting the Hot Buffalo Sauce Bills! Tasty!!

How good are the Bills? Actually, I don't know, but against the spread they're 3-1... not too bad for a team on the rise. Meanwhile the Cardinals are absolutely dreadful on the road and on a 2 game losing streak. Something's gotta give. I could go into stats, but instead I'll pose a question: If a Bill is caught dead in the desert and there were no vultures around, guess who gets to eat up? THE CARDINALS!!! I'm picking the Cardinals to cover their meager spread (-1.0) and fatten up on dead Buffalo in their beautiful home field.

NEXT we go back to Texas Stadium! Boy has that place been good to me. First, their local team, the Cowboys, and how about them Cowboys, all but guaranteed a Redskins cover (which I stupidly didn't list on LOTW). It also hosted the recent Cowboys/Eagles game. Remember that shootout? It's a shame this place is closing down. They're shutting down like Carson Palmer against the blitz! SMACK!

But you know what? Give the Bungles some credit. Two weeks ago they nearly shocked the Giants in the Meadowlands. The Bungles are playing good football! Am I calling for a BUNGLES UPSET OF THE WORLD? Of course not... but look at the line! (-17.0) for the Cowboys? That's just ridiculous. The oddsmakers are basically saying "Here! Take our money! We don't want it!" Are these guys stock brokers?

We all love Tony Romo, but the only Tony you should count on is TONY THE TIGER and he's on the Bengals... Bengals to cover (-17.0). Take the points. They're GRRRRRRRRRRREAT!

and FIRST we travel to Baltimore, the Home of Michael Phelps, and to a lesser degree, Katie Hoff, and to a lesser degree than that, the Orioles.

The Ravens are poised to dominate again on defense against another great defensive team. There's only one problem. IT'S THE TITANS!! Do they feel the upset? Quoth the Ravens, "never mo'". I'll tell you why. The Titans are undefeated against the spread and are phenomenal against the spread going back to '06. If they're favored, they cover. If they're dogs, they'll cover. and against the dregs of the NFL they played this month... oh they covered baby!

Besides, Tennessee has THE best turnover radio in the NFL, +6! The Ravens? A measley +1. So what time is it Ravens? Game time? Nope, it's time for you to LOSE! Ray Lewis, you're a nutjob. Are the Titans gonna cover (woof woof woof woof!)? They're favored by (-3.0) on the road (woof woof woof woof!)! Ravens don't have a chance. Give the pts and let's start TITANS FEVER!!

BANG BANG!!

Speaker: All in favor of Dave's Picks Say "Aye"

Congress: AYE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaker: Meeting adjourned!

BANG!! for

Dave's (grumble)
LOCKS (mumble)
of the Week (bump!)


Recap: Titans (-3.0) cover at Baltimore; Bengals (-17!!) cover at Dallas, Cardinals (-1.0) cover at home