The Preview: AL East

It's time for MLB previews for 2009. Boy who isn't excited for baseball? I certainly am, although despite this, I feel like the season is really sneaking up on me. Know what I mean? As if it just started without any hoopla.

That would never happen in the NFL... EFCSPN (that's Entertainment and Football @#%@% Sucking Program Network) would have been trumpeting Kickoff Week since February... oh wait... THEY JUST DID!! Anyhow, its baseball time, so lets get into the divisions, one at a time. Today it's the AL East.

The AL East (in a nutshell)

Easily the toughest division in MLB. Not only do most of the teams have great lineups, but they each have good pitching staffs to boot.

Orioles... The exception is Baltimore, who has neither. But for O's fans, do not fret... Nick Markakis is a nice young hitter, and Adam Jones is a possible breakout superstar... only 23 or so, and ready to roll! Still, not a whole lot else.

Yanks... love to overpay for people on the downside of their career. This year they didn't quite do that, but came close... signed two guys arguably in their prime (CC and Tex). CC Sabathia wasn't a bad move, but I can't see him pitching as well as he did for two months in Milwaukee. Teixiera... you can have him, NY. I don't even know how he gets all those gaudy numbers, because he is such an ORDINARY hitter... an MLB equivalent to Marvin Harrison.

Red Sox... the forgotten team... dare I say that? Almost no one is talking Red Sox in the off season... Lineup's basically the same as last year post deadline, which means, quite good. Quietly they stole the Dodgers' leftovers in Brad Penny and Takashi Saito. Another instance of "you can have 'em". Good luck trying to get Penny to give you a straight answer on injuries. However, IF he is healthy, Brad Penny ought to be a very solid option, and at a good price. The Red Sox are now Sanford and Son... who knew?

Rays... FEEL... the HEAT... RAYS!! The first step to get to the next step, Tampa Bay, is to ditch that God-awful home run song! For Christ's sake... that is a TERRIBLE song... you might as well play "YMCA" after home runs... even THAT would be better. I like the Rays... but I don't necessarily like them to be as good as last year. Lots and LOTS of young guys on that team, even a rook (Longoria). I think they got Burrell to replace Floyd... Wow is that ever an upgrade. Not sure how Pat the Bat will do, but the turf ought to remind him of the Vet. Comfort! Love the pitching... Don't love the bullpen, save Price (great stuff)... That's a serious wild card.

Jays... Halladay is not good enough to be a pitching staff. Staff = more than one person. BJ Ryan is pretty good to close, but I doubt the Jays repeat that MLB best E.R.A. from last year. The lineup is a joke... Good Lord, unless Rios and Wells just have the seasons of their lives... I can't see Overbay, Rolen, and Scutaro doing much, although stranger things have happened.

Dave's Take: This is going to be the Red Sox' year. No personality at all on that team... but the Ro-Bo sox will get it done. Less hype but more results. Not that they're this little market team or anything, but the Sox are unheralded and they like it that way. Yanks and Rays will likely challenge for the Wild Card and the other two teams will be eliminated by August, easily.

Sox
Yanks
Rays
Jays
O's

NL East preview coming tomorrow!

If I were a football team...

There are four teams remaining in Major League Baseball's Postseason.

Dodgers
Phillies
Rays
Red Sox

If each one was a pro or college football team, who would they be? Post your response below in the comments!

My responses:

The Dodgers are the Miami Dolphins. Seemingly forgotten for 20 years, yet, suddenly upsetting the media darlings in convincing fashion.

The Phillies are the Missouri Tigers. Prolific on offense, and somewhat under the radar. With this team, the scoring comes all at once. Blink, and you're down two scores!

The Rays are the Kansas Jayhawks. A perennially AWFUL team suddenly storming the league. With this team, you wonder when the clock will strike midnight.

The Red Sox are the New England Patriots. They're from the Boston metro, they're gimpy, they may be on their last legs...... but are YOU about to count them out?