Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Raider Image

"I reached a point where I felt that the whole staff were fractionalized, that the best thing to do to get this thing back was to make a change. It hurts because I picked the guy. I picked the wrong guy."

-- Al Davis

You deserve better, Oakland.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Ravens vs Steelers: Round 25


Tonight, Monday Night Football featured the 25th regular season meeting between two of the most physical teams in the NFL. For all of you out there who appreciate good solid defense, great play between the tackles, and tough rugged running where both teams earn every yard, THIS, was smash mouth football at its finest!!

Call me biased, but this has to be the best Monday Night Football game of the year so far. Sure everyone sees the points in Eagles/Cowboys, but here you had the two better defenses in the league matching each other blow for blow. It was like a heavyweight fight! With every strike the Ravens made, the Steelers struck back.

This wasn't the case in the first half. In fact, the Steelers looked like a team on its way to a 4-12 season. Big Ben was lost, the running game was nowhere, and meanwhile Joe Flacco really impressed me. Flacco made some solid decisions, threw with pinpoint accuracy and actually led the Ravens down the field multiple times. In all, Flacco threw for 192 yards and a Touchdown. It looked grim for Pittsburgh, down 13-3 at the half.


Then it was time for Part TWO!! After a good pep talk by Mike Tomlin, the Steelers mached back into the lead, including 14 points in 15 seconds!!! The defense woke up and sprung to action like it was a fire drill. The Steelers started to pull away, ahead 20-13

Not so fast now! Afterward, the Ravens and Flacco advanced down the field to tie the game. Finally, the Steelers and Ravens traded posessions and the game ground to a stalemate.

In real life, that'd be the end of it, BUT THIS IS THE NFL!!! We have OOOOOOOOVER-TIME. And in overtime, the Ravens went 3 and out to give Pittsburgh a chance for the win. The key play of the drive was a 20+ yard reception by Mewelde Moore. The rest was clockwork. After hitting 4th down, Jeff Reed nailed a 46 yard Field Goal to win it for the Steelers! What a game!

Final thoughts: This game really showed a lot of mettle for both teams. First, it was Baltimore, proving that they aren't the 3 yards and a cloud of dust they used to be. Was it just me or did Flacco make great decisions? He threw the ball away when he had nothing, tossed the ball like it knew where it was going, and didn't throw an interception all night. The runinng game was rather effective even without McGahee for the Second Half.

Next it was Pittsburgh, stepping up their defense to lock down the Ravens in the 3rd quarter. DBs went after Joe Flacco like he had the Wonka golden ticket! Next, the Steelers switched to a no-huddle offense which worked very well. It worked because it crossed up the Ravens defensive play calls. There's no way you can run this all the time, but the moment suited the task.

The difference, as I alluded to earlier, between this and Philly/Dallas was this: the defenses for both teams were very focused tonight. It shows that both the Ravens and Steelers are capable of making a big Super Bowl run, and how! Offensively, both teams wound up doing about as well as they could facing each other. In all, I was impressed. There also happened to be very few unforced turnovers, by my count only one total.

Clean, smart football will always curry favor with me, so thank goodness MNF didn't disappoint. BRING ON ROUND 26!!! DING!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Anybody want to write a rant on the Cowboys?

The Cowboys' big loss today is remniscent of the loss USC incurred back on Thursday. I also feel like Dallas could have way more success if the coaches knew how to handle its massive talent.

Isn't it funny how similar the two teams are?

Recap: Week BORE Lives Up to Its Name

The NFL in Week 4 was one to forget. Most of the games wound up being rather awful. They were sloppy, they were ugly, and most of them were blowouts. In total, 7 out of 11 daytime games were decided by ten pts or more, and of the seven, three were decided by 17+ pts.

Teams that really made their mark:

Buffalo Bills: After falling behind early, Buffalo STORMS ahead to win battle of the Trents, 31-14 at St. Louis. Lee Evans only caught two passes but they were for 88 yards and a touchdown. Meanwhile, Marshawn Lynch had 57 yards rushing and 24 passing yards. The star of the show was clearly the defense, which held the Rams SCORELESS in the second half.

Washington Redskins: We knew it'd be close, but nothing like this. I am really impressed with the Redskins today, as they not only got their first road win, but beat the NFC favorite Cowboys on the road. I can't say enough about how well Jason Campbell played, with 2 td passes and 231 yds. Santana Moss had a MOSTER day with 145 receiving yards. Jason Witten wasn't bad himself with 90 yards and a touchdown.

Tennessee Titans, with an (*): Even with every potential reason for a letdown, the Titans dominated the Minnesota Vikings 30-17 at Nashville. The 4-0 Titans still haven't played a team with a solid offensive unit. That said, you gotta beat the teams you're supposed to beat, and Tennessee now has a point differential of +43. This is significant because that's the largest point differential among undefeated teams (only the Giants come close with +40). I'll hold cautious optimism for the Titans while I expect them to struggle against teams above .500. Bear in mind, the Titans played 3 of these first 4 games at home.

Teams that fell flat:

San Francisco 49ers: The Saints pounded the Niners today 31-17. Despite making this list, I really thought this kind of loss made sense. First of all, this was the 49ers first road test, and J.T. O'Sullivan hadn't played East of the Sierra Nevadas up to now. Secondly, the Saints are rather good at home to start with. Finally, the 49ers are prone to turnovers, and today O'Sullivan alone accounted for two interceptions and a lost fumble. The 49ers are on the way up, but they'll need to work on these correctable mistakes.

Dallas Cowboys: Defense wins championships. Without a strong defense, there's no long term future against the best of the NFL. OFFENSIVELY, Dallas did very well. For the Cowboys, Romo had another decent game but also another interception. Terrell Owens had 71 yards with a touchdown. Even Patrick Crayton added 87 receiving yards. The main issue for Dallas is, once again, their inefficient pass defense. This is now the third game in a row where the Cowboys gave up over 250 passing yards. In addition, the Cowboys really need to cut down on their turnovers.

Denver Broncos: Boy this is a big disappointment. Going into Arrowhead and losing to KC 33-19 is hard to take. We knew this was coming, but not this soon! Denver's rushing defense continues to be abysmal, and their defense overall is really pathetic. This is now the 3rd game in a row the Broncos gave up more than 30 pts, but giving up 30 to the Chiefs is inexcusable. This was a great opportunity to lock down an opponent and the Broncos failed miserably!

San Diego Chargers: You know, we might as well just put the Chargers on here every week. First the Raiders took a 15-0 lead at the half. Then the Chargers roared back to win by ten, most of those points scored in the 4th quarter. That game was really hard to watch, and credit is due for them coming back to win. The bottom line is the Bolts dug themselves in a hole they could have avoided.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

"...not so fast, my friend!" says Alabama.


Well, if Sunday is NFL Week BORE, Saturday surely made up for it! Boy did I call this or what? Alabama gave Georgia much more than just "a hard time." In fact, the Crimson Tide SCORCHED the Bulldogs, 41-30! Heck, Georgia wasn't going to let USC, Florida, and Wisconsin have all the "fun." Instead, this game was just the cherry on the top of a very large, multi-tiered, upset cake. Don't forget to blow out the candles!

In all, 3 of the top 5 ranked NCAA Division I-A teams fell to unexpected opponents this week. Oklahoma and LSU survived. Here are the sordid details:

No. 1 USC lost to Oregon State, 28-21
No. 2 Oklahoma beat up TCU 35-10
No. 3 Georgia lost to Alabama 41-30
No. 4 Florida lost to Ole Miss 31-30
No. 5 LSU beat Miss St. 34-24

In addition...

No. 6 Missouri did not play (figure to move up to at least 4th, possibly 3rd)
No. 7 Texas destroyed Arkansas 52-10
No. 8 Alabama nearly destroyed No. 3 Georgia 41-30 (see above)
No. 9 Wisconsin lost to Michigan 27-25
No. 10 Texas Tech did not play

Oklahoma will be ranked consensus Number One by day's end. It doesn't mean they're the Number One team in the nation. Thanks to UPSET WEEK, everybody gets a do-over. USC, in particular, must feel lucky to get another chance. So it goes...

*That doesn't change my opinions described in USC Trojans: They Used to Be Good. The Trojans still have the stigma of losing within the weaker Pac 10 conference, and there's no assurance they can avoid a second upset.

That's all for College this week. Enjoy the Sunday action, or do the best you can.

Ole Miss SHOCKS Florida

I still can't believe it!!

Of all the teams out there, I thought FLORIDA would be the one to avoid an upset! Earlier today, Ole Miss goes into the swamp and SHOCKS Florida, 31-30! The difference in the game was a blocked extra point! This is amazing!! I don't think we're done yet. Still to come tonight: Alabama vs Georgia. If Georgia can survive, they'll be the Odds on favorite in the SEC.

Do You Believe in Semi-Miracles????!!! I think I DO!!!

Friday, September 26, 2008

YOUR Weekend Football Preview

LOCKS of the Week Contributor Andrew Jacobsen is back with his latest WEEKEND FOOTBALL PREVIEW:

Ahhhhhhhhh…another Friday. I love it! Is it just me or does everyone else really look forward to the weekends in the winter? I mean, I love weekends anytime of the year…but I LOVE them in the fall and winter. Why? FOOTBALL!!!

I usually wait to write this little preview on Fridays every week because…well…to be honest…Fridays I really like to slackoff in the office. I mean, its Friday, right? Nobody ever does any REAL work on Fridays, so that’s when I write these previews. It’s a good time killer until the clock strikes 5pm. Anyways…

So I’m going to try to do one of these every Friday…BUT in this instance the preview comes after what will possibly be the football game of the weekend…Oregon State beating USC. And despite my current employer being the University of Southern California (or as Dave loves them to be called, “Southern Cal”) I was happy about last nights result.

Remember how awesome college football was last year? It seemed like every week the #1 or #2 team (or in some cases both) would lose. It was complete chaos…and I LOVE chaos in sports. It just seems to make everything more interesting and creates the most compelling stories. So last night, I hope USC’s loss is the first of more to come for top ranked teams over the next few months. LET CHAOS REIGN! Ok, on to the weekend preview…

College Football

You know there are about 120 Division I-A college teams around the country. Virtually all of those teams will be playing this weekend in some 60 football games. 60 games!! You know how many of those I really care about? 3. Three! That’s it. Of course, I really didn’t care much about the USC/Oregon St. game last night but looked how that turned out. Still, here are the 3 must watches in college football.

  1. Oklahoma vs. TCU. I know about Oklahoma…but I know nothing about TCU other then they have one of the weirdest mascot names for any team in Division I sports. Horned Frogs? Really? That’s not intimidating. I step on Horned Frogs all the time just for shit and giggles…much like OU should stomp on TCU this weekend.
  2. Penn St. vs Illinois. Another game between ranked teams that likely will be a blow out. How good is Penn State? Do we really know? I mean, we know their coach is about 146 years old and that their closest game this year was against Oregon State (who, as you read above, beat USC last night) and the final score in that one was 45-14. That was their closest game!
  3. Georgia vs. Alabama – ahhhhhh…I love SEC on CBS games!! Wait! What?! This game isn’t the SEC/CBS game? Tennessee is? Ugh! What the hell?! Anyways…this is the night game on ESPN. Should be another good one though. Is Alabama for real? I’m not convinced.

Oh what the hell…I’ll throw in a little Fresno State/UCLA love here before we move on to the pros. Yeah, those two play each other Saturday afternoon at the Rose Bowl. Fresno is good…UCLA is not. Could be a fun one though…who knows? Question: Is fresno state ever going to play a WAC team this season?


Well, Dave his been touting this week at Week Bore instead of Week Four. And you know what? He’s right! There is seriously a lack of compelling games this weekend. This phenomenon was recently written about on MSNBC.com. Of course, that’s also what you get for having SIX teams on a FREAKIN’ bye week!!! SIX!!! Do you know how much that sucks for us owners of fantasy teams? Particularly when you have teams like the Colts, Giants, and Patriots all have the same bye week. How cruel NFL! You suck! My fantasy team is going to lose this weekend because of you!

Ok…I’m done. Moving along…

How about a NFL team from Ohio actually getting a win at some point?! It might happen this weekend as the Bungles and Browns (both 0-3) will play. Is it just me, or does anyone else really, really hope this one ends in a tie?

How about the Rams deciding to make their team even worse then it already is by starting a not so clear headed Trent Green over Marc Bulger? Yeah, that should do the trick Rams…I’m sure that will turn your crappy team around. (you watch, the Rams will probably win this week now)

How about the Saints/49ers? Anyone interested? I am! 49ers could be leading the NFC West all by themselves come the end of the day on Sunday. How crazy would that be? Well, almost as crazy as the Cardinals being in first place. Wait. What?

The only thing I wish for on Sunday is that the Redskins can, at the very least, make their game against the Cowboys interesting. Come on Redskins! This is the only watchable game on in the afternoon on Sunday…please don’t screw it up. Please just lose by 7 points or fewer. Please. Pretty Please!

Let me think…anything else? Ummmmmm…nope. That’s all I got for NFL stuff. Have a great weekend everybody...

Andrew Jacobsen

Dave's Weekly Pizza Pick!

Hi again, everybody!

My first Weekly Pizza Pick was such a wild success, I elected to try another one!

Today we'll honor the big Redskins/Cowboys game at 4:15 ET this Sunday. And why not? The two of them go together like cream and sugar, like peas in a pod. It's a tradition that's as much a part of football as the leather. To celebrate, I suggest a traditional, tried and true,
good ol', rootin' tootin' Pepperoni and Mushroom pizza from your neighborhood pizzeria. Pick the best one you know. If it's Papa John's that's ok. You can also decide who gets to be the Pepperoni and who gets to be the Mushroom. I'm goin' with Dallas as the Pepperoni. They're zesty, flashy, and more popular.

And that's my Weekly Pizza Pick for Week 4!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

USC Trojans: They Used to Be Good

I think you all know by now. Oregon State pulls the HUGE upset of USC, 28-21 at Corvallis, OR. Jacquizz Rodgers, dominated the Trojans front line and rushed for 186 yards and two TDs.

Ok here it comes, the big USC rant, are you ready??

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!!! What a flippin' disgrace!! Are you kidding me, Carroll? This is a complete joke. You let a 5'6" guy run all over the "Nation's #1 ranked defense." I do not care what other people say about how "great Oregon State played." That's a myth. Oregon State didn't play any better than Ohio State played the week before. They didn't play any better than Stanford did a year ago.

The fact is very simple: USC DID NOT SHOW UP READY TO... PLAY!!!!!

So here we are:
USC used to be good. "Used to be" are the key words. There was a time when USC caught everybody off guard. Whether it was Palmer or Leinart, Polamalu or Bush, the Trojans domianted college football. But once they go from the hunter to the hunted, things fall apart.

First of all, we all know that Pete Carroll is a lousy in-game coach. I think we all know this by now, and it's fairly obvious to even the least imposing teams that all it takes is smart coaching, energy, and SPEED. Those three ingredients will give USC a hard time if they're not ready for the opponent.

Four years of this! Every year the Trojans have the best talent in College Football, and every year they choke one game out of the year they have no right to lose. Every year they lose to an inferior team because they go into the game with a huge mental let down. Yes, sports fans, I'm including the Rose Bowl against Texas.

USC's season is over. It's done! FINISHED! FINITO! SE ACABO!! FIN!! To even consider talking about a National Championship is an insult to the rest of College Football.

If you follow college football. if you are a fan, like I am, and if you appreciate the best of the best, please do me a favor. Do not ever, EVER consider USC an elite team ever again, this year or next, until they actually prove it on the field. I don't care how much talent they have, until they can prove to us that they belong on the field with every team they play, they're pretenders. Remember it's not just one year of blowing their wad. They have done this now for four years in a row. They don't deserve a national championship bid. They don't deserve a Rose Bowl. Heck, USC doesn't even deserve the damn Holiday Bowl the way they keep choking to bad teams.

I've had it!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Thrilling Thursday!

In a world where the Pac 10 undoubtedly sucks, the NCAA presents

USC vs Oregon State (the sequel)

Starring Mark Sanchez as the Beaver

Coming soon to an ESPN near you! ...are you excited?

Replies? Want to publish your own previews? Send em out to

Week 4: Dave's LOCKS of the... zzzzz

mumble grumble... oog...


oh! Let's start another one of those

Dave's (yawwwn)
LOCKS (snooore)
of the Week (zzzzz...)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week BORE (uh, 4)

Greetings gents, and greetings lady gents. I'm Dave Medina, fighting boredom and my eyelids, just struggling to make it through Week 4. This week is bound to be the worst week of the year so far, with probably one sure-fire big matchup (Was/Dal). Everything else... get ready for some insomnia busters fellas!! but... I must continue my duty and give you my LOCKS of the week...

To the picks!

First! We go out to Kan-sas City!! Does the weather EVER change in KC? You watch it on the tv and it's the same: no precipitation, no wind, not a cloud in the sky. So flippin' BORING.

Anyway, the Chiefs, taking torch from the Royals, are SOLIDLY in last place entering what I want to call...


In last year's DLOTWGATB, I resoundingly picked the Chiefs to cover and win at home in Arrowhead. Beeeeoooooooooooooooop. Big mistake. The Broncos dominated that game and the Chiefs could barely muster 11 pts. This time I'm getting MY REVENGE BABY!! Go with the Broncos (-9.0) to gallop to a big win (again) at Arrowhead. Forget it KC: As Herm would say

Next, out to -bzzzzt- WKRP in Cincinnaaaaaaaaati --bzzzzzzt--

What happened to all those emails about Derek Anderson for the Hall of Fame? For goodness sake, is Cleveland the most overrated team alive? Meanwhile, I think the Bungles had a bad break. Palmer stumbled early but did well last week in Jersey. In fact, the Bungles even a semblance of a running game! Chris Perry has 180 yards so far; not too bad! Finally, the Bungles have yet to win their first home game, and they tend to sparkle at Paul Brown Stadium. You gotta pick the Bungles here to at least win and maybe win big.

If Cleveland wins this game I'm going to join the Clay Aiken fan club... IT AIN'T HAPPENING!!! Cincy (-3.5) covers the spread and then mauls those stupid plastic dog masks over the Brownies because it's BUNGLES TIME!!

Finally, the moment you've all be waiting for... BACK to CHICAGO!!!

I called it on Monday when the Bears let me down and blew their cover (no pun intended). IT'S TIME FOR SOME MORE PAYBACK. Yes, it's Revenge Week on Dave's LOCKS of the Week, and, I'm calling for a Good Philly Beat-down!!!!

Who needs a healthy Westbrook or McNabb? The Eagles still have their entire defense healthy and hopping. Knowing the Bears, we have a scenario ripe for interceptions. Yes folks, the Eagles are going to kick so much ass it'll make the Rams game seem like a nail-biter. The Eagles are swooping down and pecking apart the Bears for whatever the line is (currently "off"). That's right Bears, take that deep dish and SHOVE IT!

And... ho hum, that's it for

Dave's (pfffffff)
LOCKS (fluff)
of the Week (pat pat)

Don't forget to bring the Nyquil and enjoy the weekend's games, all!

RECAP: Broncos (-9.0) win and cover at KC; Bungles (-3.5) cover at home; Eagles (off) win outright at Chicago.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

NFL Week 4: It's not as bad as we think!

I know, I know. Everybody out there wants to tag Week 4 as "NFL Week BORE" with all the lousy games on, and believe me there are a lot of lousy ones! Well even if you think only Cowboys/Redskins can be decent, let me show you some other games that are might be a pleasant... surprise...!


49ers vs Saints: The 49ers are a surprising 2-1 after their great effort against the Lions. Sure, it was the Lions, but a year ago, that game is decided by a field goal. The 49ers D is coming of age. Meanwhile, you have America's Offense(tm) the Saints at home...........

Ah who am I kidding? This week is going to suck!!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

LOCKS Week 3 Recap: More of the same!


This week I committed to hardcore research and got results. Not "Mike Golic on Nutrisystem" results, but this is pretty good. CHECK IT OUT:

First I said:

TAKE THOSE POINTS, feed the fish, and choose the Dolphins to cover the (+12.5) prawns!

Final Score, Mia 38, NE 13: Whooooooooooooof! This exceeded even MY greatest expectations. Holy Belichick! I didn't have time to write a whole post about it, but Ronnie Brown ran for 4 TDs and threw for 1 TD!! THE MAN.

Then there was this:

ALAKAZAM!! Take the Bears (-3.0) to cover and win.

Final Score, TB 27, Chi 24 (OT): This was in the bag, until the Bears' World Class defense blew it in the 4th. What happened?!?!?!?! I dedicated a whole pizza to you! That's the thanks I get? Forget you guys, Chicago. I'm picking you to get blown out next time.

Finally, a close one but a big one:

BRONCOS (-5.5) win big, covering easily! (after review)

Final score, Den 34, NO 32: This is unbelievable. Do the Broncos have any defense? What a flippin' JOKE. My grandma could cover opposing receivers better than you, Denver! What killed me was that the Broncos started off ahead 21-3, similar to last week, and yet had to fight to hold on.

Germs, this is *not* a Super Bowl team.

Anyway, the end result is, here we go, 1-2 (again!!). but this time I was on the cusp of winning all three. I feel like this is a solid effort. Hope you all have a good work week, then back at it for more picks!!

Deconstructing Madden

Before moving on to our next football related post, I'd like to dedicate some time to John Madden.

Madden broadcast his first NFL game in 1979. 29 years later, he's still at the helm for the NFL's biggest games. When he started, he was straight-laced, timid, and a little laid back. Remarkably, he's nearly the same today.

We'll always think of John as "BOOM! FWAP! POW!" High energy and his erratic telestrators. And yet, John Madden knew, way back when, that he wasn't going to be 45 forever. With each year, he adjusted to his own age. Through it all he retained a great knowledge of the game and stayed insightful. He was and is REAL.

Madden is different, but he's still Madden, and I still enjoy his work. and Brett Favre is Brett Favre!

Parity shall inherit the AFC

Imagine if we did one of those "In the Year 2000's" last year. You could have gone hog-wild and still not come up with these statements:

In the year 200(8)...

"The Patriots will go from undefeated... to getting ROUTED by the Dolphins at home, and the QB of the game will be... Chad Pennington!"

In the year 200(8)...

"Manning will outperform his brother, as will his team. ELI, not Peyton."

In the year 200(8)...

"The Broncos will dominate the AFC West, aided by a bonehead call from Ed Hochuli."

Is it a wild 2008 or what? And the irony of 2008 so far is: the NFC, of all things, is showing more stability than the AFC! That's quite a shock, even through 3 weeks. The NFC East and North looked dominant in '07. In '08, more of the same. Meanwhile, *all* of last year's AFC division winners are struggling out of the gate. The only exception is the Steelers, but even they were exposed by the Eagles' front seven.

Now to make sense of all this...

The winds of change were long overdue. In a world where NFL rosters render a lot of turnover (R.I.P. Mr. LaFontaine), even great organizations were due for a rebuilding year. Every core of players hits their stride, peak, and then decline. The peak usually hits before we even know it.

The Colts, for example, hit their peak back in 2005. I think we'd all agree that was their best group.

The Patriots, meanwhile, hit their peak, *not* last year, but in 2004. I felt their defense was at its finest then. Tedy Bruschi, Rodney Harrison, and the coaching staff were at their best.

The Chargers are a tough one. Strange as it sounds, THIS year is supposed to be their peak, but leave it to San Diego to fumble away their championship window. Either the Chargers have been overrated for 3 years, or the talent level is starting to whittle away. Losing Merriman isn't a huge deal, but it doesn't help. The coaching is downright awful. All told, we're about to see if the Bolts can make their definitive Super Bowl run.

These franchises are smart enough to turn it around, but in 2008, the meek shall inherit the earth.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Dave's Weekly Pizza Pick

And now, by Popular Demand

Here it comes!!!


Dave's (crunch)
WEEKLY (munch)
Pizza Pick (sizzle)!!!

For our inaugural Weekly Pizza pick, I'd like to recommend a thick, deep dish pizza from your local neighborhood Chicago-Style pizzeria. For most of you out there, that means Pizza Hut.

In honor of the Chicago Bears' home opener this week, I'd go start it off with a big, thick crust and cheese, then pile it high with sausage, sausage, and more sausage. When they're done, ask them to add a pound of cheese. Then top it off with some sausage. Now if you're feeling intrepid, you can tack on some tomato sauce on the top, but most of us will have a heart attack by then.

So there it is! This week's Weekly Pizza Pick: Chicago Style Sausage Pizza with Sausage!

Andrew Presents: YOUR Weekend Football Preview

LOCKS of the Week contributor Andrew Jacobsen will provide College and Pro Football previews throughout the season. Here is his latest report:

By Andrew Jacobsen


So after a long week like this one, what is better then having a full weekend of football action to enjoy? I can’t think of anything. So lets pretend it’s the weekend right now and take a look at what we got…


Decent day of college football. We don’t have a BIG game, like OSU/USC (although that was a major letdown), to really grab onto. Yes, thank you Arizona St for sucking it up last weekend and making your game vs. Georgia this weekend not look as good…I mean, I’ll still watch, but I won’t be happy about it. Still there are some matchups that are certainly worth viewing…

  1. FLA/TENN – Dave really, really wants FLA to lose. I hope they don’t. Its another SEC on CBS game so, of course, it’s a must watch. Go Gators!
  2. One SEC game deserves another. LSU/AUBURN. Maybe even a better game then FLA/TENN, although we could see some ugly final score. Last week auburn won 3-2…in football, not baseball or hockey. LSU doesn’t exactly light up a scoreboard either. First one to 10 wins!!
  3. How about OSU. Can they bounce back after their embarrassing performance last week…wait…SCREW OSU!!! Freakin’ losers. Nevermind…I’m on a OSU boycott starting NOW. SCREW YOU OSU!!! (somebody make that into a sign)

Ummmmm…yeah. That’s basically it for college games, I guess. I mean, there is Wake Forest vs. Florida State but those are two ACC schools and even though they are ranked…it’s the ACC so who gives a S*%T?!


Moving on to the pros. Lets see…(looking at schedule)…you know what? My recommendation would be wake up on Sunday morning…go out, have a nice breakfast somewhere…go outside and get some sun and do something fun that morning BECAUSE…

There are virtually NO games of interest Sunday morning. NONE! I can’t think of any of these crappy games I would want to watch.

OAK/BUF…ugh. I don’t think so.

TB/CHI…yeah, I love watching games with crappy offenses playing good defenses. NOT!

KC/ATL…you couldn’t pay me enough money to watch this one.

MIA/NE…I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

CAR/MIN…well…ok, this one might not be too bad.


And so on and so on…

So my point is, football this Sunday really doesn’t get kicking off until 1pm. At that time we have 3 attractive…although, not like Charlize Theron “hot as hell” attractive…but more like Gretchen Mol “she’ll get the job done” attractive…games on that afternoon.

PHIL/PIT…NO/DEN (no defenses allowed please)…and JAX/INDY. All three could be very solid football games. So skip the morning, sleep in, and enjoy the games in the afternoon. And as a dessert, we have Dallas vs. Green Bay on Sunday night. Thank God this game isn’t on the NFL Network, like it was last year…when I had to stand OUTSIDE of a FREAKIN’ bar and LOOK though the WINDOWS of the place to just to SEE the DAMN GAME!!!

Alright…is it the weekend yet? What time is it? 10am. UGH! DAMN YOU FRIDAYS!!! Why do you have to be sooooo long?

Enjoy the games people…

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Week 3: Redemption LOCKS of the Week

Hi Hoooooooooooooooooooooooo Pilsner!!!

Let's ride the big comeback on

Dave's (clip)
LOCKS (flick)
of the Week (SLAM!!!!)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 3

Cue the William Tell Overture!! I'm BACK! And I won't quit! First week, 1-2. Last week 0-3! and this week I swear to you I will do better. I was worse than usual because... because

"What's your excuse, buster?"

[shakes nervously] ....uh ......uh I didn't have enough statistics! It's true. but now I've got some data baby and I am ready to ROLL. to the picks!!!!!


Yes!!!! EXTRA SOUND EFFECTS! sound off (one two) wait, let me jump into the catapult annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd CLOMP!!

We're off to to Gillette Stadium. It's the Patriots and the Dolphins!! A year ago, this would have been the A game. Brady, Moss, going for 16-0. This year it's moved all the way down to the Q game. Cassel, Pennington, Ian Eagle.

Muah muahhhhhhh, thanks for playing.

But somehow, the Pats are favored by 12.5 points? I say WHAAA? The Vegas odds makers, still high off the homemade vodka forgot that it's 2008. That must be it. There's no WAY the Dolphins will take that floating down. We're talking about the same Dolphins who lost a lot of CLOSE games last year. They went 1-15, but they were blown out only half the time. The 'fins will jump and jump and jump, keep the game close, and cover the spread. TAKE THOSE POINTS, feed the fish, and choose the Dolphins to cover the (+12.5) prawns!

You know who eats fish? BEARS EAT FISH!! ROAR!! let's toss those fish down a few rivers and head to Chicago... c'mon... baby don't you want to go? to that same ol' place: SOLDIER FIELD, Chicago! Actually, this is the Bears' home opener and it's about time. They're back, and they're PISSED. They're also without a QB... again. They could have had one, but do the Bears listen? NOOOOOOOO!

Anyway, the Bears are good enough to beat the visiting Bucs. They rank in the upper echelon of pass defenses and all the Bucs wanna do, is pass the ball. ...Until the sun comes up over santa monica blvd. but Brian Urlacher will serve them his Harry Potter voodoo... ALAKAZAM!! Take the Bears (-3.0) to cover and win. score? 538-0, DA BEARS!

Let's rumble down from the Midwest out to the Rockies. Let's go back to Denver to meet the Broncos vs the Saints. Ok I'm picking the Saints to roll big and cover 5.5 at Invesco Field!

[Ed Hochuli: TWEET! Upon further review, Dave's LOCK of the week fumbled the snap. We'll put the pick on the 5 paragraph line]

WHAT?! You Big Dummy!! I had that pick made... Look at the play!! I made it fair and square.

[Ed: Sorry Dave, I already blew the whistle. You have to do it over anyway. And I can bench press you.]

Dammit!! Fine... I'm not gonna get burned two weeks in a row, I'm PICKIN THE BRONCOS BABY. Now both teams are practically the same. Same good offense, same lousy defense. Here's the difference: The Broncos are great at home, and most of all, the Saints have an abysmal 2-6 non-conference record in the Brees era. It's ov-ah baby. BRONCOS
(-5.5) win big, covering easily!

That puts the capper (any more whistles? no? good!) on

Dave's (honnnnk!)
LOCKS (scritch-scritch-scritch)
of the Week (thomp!)

Recap: Dolphins (+12.5) cover at NE; Bears (-3.0) cover/win at home; Broncos (-5.5) cover and dominate at home.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Who scores the most points in the NFL?

So far, in two weeks, we've been able to gage who's the best at scoring points. Remarkably, the numbers are consistent with last year's teams. Observe.

Here are the teams who scored the most points through two weeks.

1. Broncos, 80 pts
2. Eagles, 75 pts
3. Packers, 72 pts
4. Cowboys, 69 pts
5. Chargers, 62 pts

Three of the top five were playoff teams last year, and all five of the teams were 8-8 or better. Remarkably, the only real surprise is the NFL leading Denver Broncos, but I think we all knew they'd be a decent offense with Jay Cutler.

Now here's the teams who scored the FEWEST points through two weeks.

T 28. Ravens, 17 pts
T 28. Bungles, 17 pts
T 28. Texans, 17 pts* (Texans only played one game, on the road, due to Hurricane Ike)
T 31. Browns, 16 pts
T 31. Rams, 16 pts

Some of these are really shocking. The Bungles with only 17 combined points??? What happened to that Pro Bowl offense? And the BROWNS with just 16? The Cowboys defense wasn't *that* great. They only gave up 37 to Philly the next week.

Now for the real excitement! Who gave up the most points through 2 games?

1. Lions, 82 pts
2. Rams, 79 pts
3. Seahawks, 67 pts
4. Chargers, 65 pts
5. 49ers, 53 pts

I'm giving the 49ers a pass, because they played great defense in Week 1. The Lions are every fantasy owner's dream come true, aren't they? Any team that plays the Lions will have their players' stats go off!

The Rams... ugh... what a mess.

And finally, one team that seemingly doesn't belong on this list: the San Diego SUPER Chargers. For goodness sake, San Diego! WAKE UP!!! To pose an example, last year through 2 weeks the Chargers gave up 41 pts, INCLUDING a 38-14 trouncing by the Patriots.

The Chargers are in serious trouble, folks. Not only do they give up nearly the most points per game, but they rank dead last in the AFC in passing yards allowed AND rank 25th in rushing yards allowed. The last team to even make the Super Bowl with a bottom ten ranked passing defense was the 2005 Seahawks, and they happened to be in the NFC. If the Chargers don't make dramatic improvements, they could be looking at an 9-7 year. It can certainly turn around, however.

That completes my "Nerd Moment of the Week." More LOCKS come your way later on!

A rant against "Southern Cal"

What is with all the East Coasters calling USC "Southern Cal?" It sounds so stupid, hokey, and inaccurate, its gotten downright insipid. Are we really going to confuse The University of Southern California, USC with the University of South Carolina?

Get real, ESPN/ABC/CBS/NBC/Fox/etc. South Carolina is almost Championship Subdivision football compared to the Trojans. It's not like when people think "USC," they think "Ah yes, good ol' South Carolina!" Nobody outside of Lou Holtz would confuse the two.

So when you talk USC, talk "USC" or "SC"... heck even just "Trojans" is ok. NOBODY east of the Rockies calls the USC football team "Southern Cal".

Now let me throw goofy nicknames on other schools, and see how YOU guys like em.

Northern Dame!
Bo College!
'Bama!! oops, that's taken.

More NFL thoughts in just a moment...

Monday, September 15, 2008

...and how!! What a great Eagles/Cowboys Game!

The full moon was definitely out somewhere in the universe. When you hear the words "Eagles vs Cowboys" you think "oh down in the trenches, lots of running, great defense!" Instead, we got a shootout that made the Broncos game look like a soccer game. 41-37 was the final score and the Cowboys gut it out.

How 'bout them Cowboys? So many times we see them in a huge divisional game, or a big game vs a tough opponent, and so many times they fold. This goes all the way back to 2004. I remember a huge game just like this in Big D vs the Steelers and it was Big Ben, the rookie, pulling out the stops.

This time, the 'Boys got 'er donnne! Romo was nothing short of fantastic! 3 tds and 300+ yards. Marion Barber was a BEAST tonight with 110+ all purpose yards and a TD catch. Even TO had some fun with 2 td catches.

That's not to knock the Eagles. McNabb had a super game himself. Brian Westbrook is proving he's my favorite running back in the league today with TWO touchdowns and about 90 all purpose yards. And that front seven for Philly was awesome in the first three quarters.

Yet in the end, Dallas made the plays in the clutch and the Eagles fell short. For both teams, this is an extremely impressive performance. First of all, it validates that the Cowboys *can* win close games and come from behind. Secondly, it shows that the Eagles are legitimate. When you beat up on the Rams, the whole league takes you with a grain of salt, so tonight helped improve their image. Finally, it proves the NFC East is THE best division in football.

The NFC East has the most talent, the best overall coaching, and the most fierce defenses as a whole. Now, granted, we didn't see it in the points, but defensive linemen don't give an inch in this division. Thank you NFL for furnishing us this great night!!!

Random Dave Thoughts:

  • The game didn't even get ruined by a bad call! In fact, officiating was really good tonight and the only mistake was the blown non-call on a Westbrook facemask early on.
  • What the hell was Tony Kornheiser apologizing for mid-4th quarter? For being a lousy NFL analyst? For being a sourpuss? I don't get it.
  • No mention of Jessica Simpson all night, which I believe, was the difference in the game. One shot of Simpson and it was all over, Dallas.
  • Sometime either late 3rd or early 4th quarter I realized T.O. hadn't been heard from in over an hour! I don't think he had a catch. Five seconds later, Ron Jaworski basically said the same thing. T.O.'s gonna have to show up when it counts eventually.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

NFL Week 2 Brings the Excitement!

Hey everyone! Hope you guys had a good NFL Sunday.

It was a terrific day for football, filled with many close finishes, great plays, and shining moments. I was at Zodos, the only place to be for NFL football (if they knew how to turn on the HD). Anyway, here's my other thoughts on Week 2:

Aaron Rodgers: Like Musicals to My Ears!

Some folks weren't convinced Rodgers could take his good QB skills on the road. Instead, Rodgers impressed everybody out in the Motor City. Over 300 yards passing and 3 touchdown passes! I was impressed, and apparently, so were many fantasy owners.

The Greatest Week 2 Game Ever Played

There may be several candidates to earn the title "Greatest Week 2 Game". Unfortunately, Steelers/Browns is nowhere near the list. That game was kind of sloppy.

Instead, there was a battle of defensive wills over in Minneapolis between the Vikes and Colts.

There was also a terrific show in our nation's capital, perhaps a coming of age for young Jason Campbell.

Let's not forget the "Battle in Seattle" where you *can* get a second chance in life, or in overtime. SF's Joe Nedney misses the game winning field goal in regulation, only to nail it in OT, from the same distance!

Finally, the big shootout in Denver, where the Chargers and Broncos combined to score 77 points. Whoof!

Same Old Patriots

I still get the impression that the Jets are vastly overrated. It's tough to win games with only ten points in normal weather, and the Jets seemed more like a 4-12 team today. The Patriots do what they always do, win games, albeit much uglier and tougher than normal. The Pats have that 9-7 look without a doubt.


Still to come on Brothers and Sisters Week: the big Monday Night game between the Eagles and Cowboys. It may not amount to much in the end, but this week it will be a lot of fun. I'm looking forawrd to the result, and let's hope we get a better game than we got in Cleveland!

LOCKS Week 2 Recap: My gambling license should be revoked.


This is, quite possibly, the worst week in LOCKS of the Week History. I'm too embarrassed to go into the details but here's my three picks from Week 2:

Jax (-5.5) to cover: I have badly underestimated the Bills.
Seahawks (-7.0) to cover and win: I had a bad feeling about this one on Friday. Dammit!
and then the big one
Bolts (-1.5) for the win: Hosed by the usually awesome Hochuli, but he knew when he called the play it was a mistake, and it doesn't matter anyway.

This leads me to my long anticipated rant on the San Diego Chokers. First of all, great defense you played there. Here we go saying you're the best team on paper, and then you give up 39 points!! 39!!!!!!! The Steelers, Patriots, and Vikings don't give up 39 points in TWO games.

See, I was all prepped to give the Chargers a 14-2 prediction, but several things made that claim impossible. First of all, they have quite possibly the worst coach in the division. That's really saying something in a division with Herm Edwards.

Secondly, while I hate to use schedule as a crutch, the Chargers face stiffer competition this year.

Finally, and all you Charger fans out there, I'm sorry for being so obnoxious, but anyway, finally, there's a lot of showoffs on that team. You get Rivers, leader of the showoffs... then LT, who actually backs up his play, and finally Merriman who does little indian dances after basic tackles. It's a little annoying.

Merriman, of course, is now out for the season, but like Justin Timberlake says, what goes around come around... sometimes.

The Chargers ought to bounce back from this and win the West, but it doesn't speak well to the Lightning Blokes' killer instinct.

More football thoughts upcoming... thoughts? Post your comments here!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Brothers and Sisters Week in the NFL

I noted earlier that this is "Brothers and Sisters" week in the NFL. Half of the NFL's 16 games are divisional games this week. I can't remember the last time we saw so many of them at once. Anyhow, here's the games in question:

Packers vs Lions
Raiders vs Chiefs
49ers vs Seahawks
Falcons vs Bucs
Chargers vs Broncos
Pats vs Jets
Steelers vs Browns
Eagles vs Cowboys

Most anticipated, Eagles vs Cowboys easily
Least anticipated, Raiders vs Chiefs, also easily

Almost said "49ers vs Seahawks," but the truth is, there are so many unknowns going into that game. We know the Raiders are going to blow chunks at Kansas City, so it's instantly unwatchable.


This is the first time in a very long time I've been this excited about both Sunday Night Football and Monday Night Football simultaneously. The NFL did a remarkable job protecting both for night time. ...and "the Browns have a must win game?" Are you kidding? It's week 2! Way too early to have any must win games.

Finally, I have this for you.


uuuuuugh! All I have to say is GO EAGLES!!!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Week 2: Welcome to LOCKS of Our Lives, er, The Week

...previously on LOCKS of Our Lives

Friend: Yo, Vince! Vince!! You okay man?
Vince Young (about to jump out window): I can't live anymore, I gotta end it now!
Friend: No Vince! Is it the media scrutiny?
VY: No! I lost all my money on Dave's LOCKS of the Week.

Here it comes... it's!

Dave's (slap!)
LOCKS (pow!)
of the Week (fwap!)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 2

Back at it again for Week 2 of the NFL. I call it Brothers and Sisters week! It's almost as if every team is playing its division rival. Gridiron incest at its finest, let's begin!

We go down to the big swamp, way down in Jacksonville, Florida. We don't know too much about the Jags or Bills yet, but we know this: Jacksonville plays great defense and dominates teams at home, and the Bills still don't have a big-time QB. Watch as those Jags (-5.5) show off their spots and mash their teeth into the Bills defense, for a HUGE bounceback win. They'll cover *and* devour.

Now out from the sludge in Florida, hopefully past some hurricanes and back up to Seattle! What? I thought we just escaped all the rain. Seattle seems like a big showerhead sometimes, and with their big home opener vs the 49ers, good times are ahead. The Seahawks (-7.0) could barely jump, let alone fly, but this week, they'll SOAR, up to the highest mountain, sacking O'Sullivan with every swoop. How are they only a 7 point favorite?? The Seahawks are gonna STORM the 49ers and win by way more than 7.

Finally, down the puget sound, over the river and through the hills we go to that ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH, Denver, CO! The Broncos have a home opener of their own against the Chargers. Ah, but pity the horse who thinks they'll win. The Chargers have dominated the Broncos in the last 3 years, most of them with Philip Rivers. I could go on, but the Broncos defense still blows against the run. THIS GAME GOES zzzt zzzt zzt all the way down and the BOLTS (-1.5) will flash a W on the road.

so tha--bzzzzzzt OWW! does it for

Dave's (zap!)
LOCKS (clack!)
of the Week (fwit!)

Recap: Jags (-5.5) cover at home, Seahawks (-7) cover at home, Chargers (-1.5) cover at Broncos

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Here's the Story... of an Injured Brady

It's official! Tom Brady is out for the season! In the first quarter, only a few minutes in, Bernard Pollard went after another player, fell down and rolled into Brady, which buckled his knees and tore his ACL. I truly can't believe it. I'm happy! I'm sad... I'm EXCITED! ...I feel bad for Tom. It's a true bi-polar moment for me and everyone at LOCKS of the Week.

I really don't know what to think. You never want to see anybody go down to injury, but I'll be damned if I'm not inspired by this day. We've seen years and years and years of lucky bounces, good fortune, and let's face it, cheating by the Patriots organization. Seeing all the mojo fall apart at once is a phenomenon I haven't seen before. It's almost as if the rest of the NFL sent karmic payback for their over the top sense of entitlement.

Brady's departure completely changes the landscape of the NFL in '08. How happy are Jets fans today?! They have Brett Favre, and the door swung WIDE OPEN for them to win the division.

LOCKS Week 1 Recap: 1-2!!!

Not a good way to start the season, but lemme tell you, it was close! In week one I went 1-2, bringing my 2008 grand total to..... 1-2.

Let's recap the LOCKS of the Week!

First I said:
BRING THAT TUNA UPSTREAM and pick the Dolphins to win and shock the northeast!
Final Score: Jets 20, Dolphins 14

Hey you have to admit, that was a lot closer than we thought! You know, I like Chad Pennington, and if he could throw a ball farther than six yards, they'd have won the game. It's pretty obvious that Miami's no dunce to sneeze at (unlike me and football picks so far).

Next I said:

Take a free ride and bet the HOUSE on the Falcons to cover as a rare home underdog. You can take that to the POUND.. um er, I mean bank.

Final score: Falcons 34, Lions 21

Man, I was feeling SO good about this. Imagine... everybody from pillar to post laughed at me when I called my shot. It was the first LOCK I made... I was saaaaaving that pick. How about Michael Turner yesterday?!
Michael Turner is the man. 220 yards, 2 tds for that porker? ah-bdbdbdbdbdbdbdbTHAT'S ALL FOLKS!!

and then, the big one....

I'm taking the (ba ba ba bum) deep in the HEARRRT of TEXANS to cover the massive 6.5 spread.

Final Score: Steelers 38, Texans 17

Hoooooooooo boy. I deserved a dunce cap for a week, just for that one pick. Well, at least I was right about busting the over/under. Just happened to be all Steelers. I'm pretty happy, since my team dominated, but I'm stayin' away from picking Steeler games.

I'm stayin' away from picking Steeler games...
I'm stayin' away from picking Steeler games...............

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Kickoff Thursday Impressions

Talk about the most average game of all time...

Kickoff Thursday came and went, and what I think I saw was two teams not ready for prime time. Sure, it's the NFC East, but both teams really looked out of sync.

I thought we had some decent performances, but man, most of the guys looked slow and out of it. ...not unlike the guys at the Republican Convention, HEY LADY!!!


Time to go get the telephone book. I bet a friend of mine a whole pizza the Redskins would gut it out, but of course they had to run the "move around and don't gain anything" offense. Come ON! Who tries to get 6 yard gains with 5 yard plays? Stoopid! Stoopid! Stoopid!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Week 1: Here at last!! It's Dave's LOCKS of the Week

*Ahem* where's that record?


Aaaaah, something to remember
Aaaaah, dancin' in September



It's THE BIG 12!!!

(ok no it isn't)


[cue monty python music]

Dave's (boink!)
LOCKS (doink!)
of the Week (bonnnnnnng!)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 1


Hello again everybody and WELCOME to the greatest four months of our year. It's here! Football is at our footstep. Boy aren't you all so glad you waited out 78 meaningless basketball games, and then 259 meaningless baseball games? Now we have the goods.

Let's kick off the season with the battle of Favre. Miami, Florida! All we talk about is Favre! Is this for real or a Madden fantasy? ...and, are there other players in the NFL?

Of course there are! In fact there's a whole team called the Dolphins, 1-15 last year, much better odds this year. They even have a good quarterback, Chad Pennington. They have a pretty good defense too! Bill parcells, the big tuna trader, did a remarkable job restoring credibility to the Dolphins. Will it translate to wins? Do you believe in Miracles? YES!! YES!!!

UPSET SPECIAL ALERT!!! The Dolphins (+3.0 at home) are going to beat the Jets, my friend. Might be by a field goal... might even win by more, but Rock, Jet, Flippers... c'mon you know flippers wins every time! BRING THAT TUNA UPSTREAM and pick the Dolphins to win and shock the northeast!

Let's go a little further upstream, all the way to Atlanta, GA.

Now, the Falcons haven't been able to get up off the ground the last two seasons. Basically they said "Take... these broken wings and learn to fly again, learn to live free..." Free from that dope Michael Vick that is. The Falcons are a really young team, so young that some still have their pacifiers. Yet, they do have an underrated D. More than that, the favored Lions (-3.0) have no defense. No veterans? No experience? No problem!

Take a free ride and bet the HOUSE on the Falcons to cover as a rare home underdog. You can take that to the POUND.. um er, I mean bank.

Finally we'll fly from the Georgia Dome to the banks of three rivers. Yep, we, are headed to Pittsburgh, the Steel City!

The Steelers are a 6.5 pt. favorite vs the Houston Texans. But we're talking about two very very explosive offenses in warm weather. Two things are gonna happen... ok three things!

1st, the entire steel industry is going to shut down to watch the game
2nd, the over under of 43 pts is going to be shattered! CRASH!
3rd, and most important, I'm taking the (ba ba ba bum) deep in the HEARRRT of TEXANS to cover the massive 6.5 spread.

and THAT is

Dave's (sploosh!)
LOCKS (clomp!)
of the Week (ping!)

Happy Kickoff Everyone!


To review:

Dolphins (+3.0) cover and win vs Jets
Falcons (+3.0) cover vs Lions
Texans (+6.5) cover at Steelers


Take the over for the HOU/PIT game (43 pts)