Thursday, September 9, 2010

Dave's LOCKS of the Week - Week 1: Two Dogs for the Price of One!

Football is a great game...
It is a grand game...
It is, the only game...

[MLB] Heyyyy!! What about baseball!

[NFL] Get out of here! Two cow-town teams just beat you in the ratings!

[MLB] Waaaaaaaaahhhhh!

Ahem, where was I?

Played no where else on Earth... it is, the best game...

It deserves: The Best Picks

Annnd NOW, beginning it's FOURTH SEASON: Here it is!!!

Dave's (clank!)
LOCKS (bink!)
of the Week! (pi-yoiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 1

Let's get to it boys! (yeaaaaahhh!) TO THE PICKS. Week 1

We're calling out the Dogs this week. Read on, enjoy, devour!

We will NOT be selecting from the Vikings/Saints game. The revolution... will NOT be televised. We start instead in Tampa Bay! Ohh Tampa... uh... damn, there's no Tampa Bay theme song is there? Landmarks? No? Really?! Ok, anyway, the Bucs are (-3) point favorites at home to rebuilding Cleveland Brownies. Tampa Bay is HORRIBLE, they have a lot of ?'s and few options offensively. Freeman is not really what you'd call a quarterback, but while the Browns don't offer much either, they finished on a high note winning their last month of games, and featuring new direction (Holmgren), a better defense, and perhaps some leadership from one Jake Delhomme. The better QB usually wins, so I'm baking the Brownies and taking the points. Browns +3.

Nothing says lovin' like Brownies from the oven but NOTHING says "junkpile" than our sail up the Atlantic and up through New York to BUFFALO where the Dolphins are on the road to face the Buffaloooo Bills! Buffalo Bill, on top of a hill, he fetched a pail of water, the owner flipped out, the team fell back and no one came watching thereafter. C.J. Spiller could have potential, Evans might have another decent year, but I'd rather go with the better coverage defense. The Dolphins will splash all over the Buffalo, water or non, and I'll EASILY take the -3 points.

Does anyone realize how BAD the Bills are?

Onward! From the meager slopes of Upstate NY down to the Meadowlands we go for the Monday night showdown with the Jets and the Ravens. Defense, both teams have it. Offense... oooh, not so much. And who would have guessed the flyin' Ravens would have a better air attack than Jets? It's true! Look at Flacco over the season and compare with Turnover Sanchez on the Jets. I dare say we'll see some Joe Cool outlast the Dirty Sanchez over in NJ. Take the Ravens and the points. Quoth the Ravens: "We had a lockdown defense way before you did and you stole our idea to go on HBO and do the Hard Knocks Show too!" Ravens +2.5.

Two Dogs... for the price of one! Right here on...

Dave's (bang!)
LOCKS (bong!)
of the Week (BOOOOOM!)

Low point spreads but I'm still riding high. To review: Cleveland +3, Miami -3, Baltimore +2.5

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