Dave's NFL WILD CARDS of the Week

I couldn't go the week without posting...

Dave's (blam!)
WILD CARDS (clank!)
of the Week (snap!)

Let's do this... Four Games, four mediocre to good teams... onward.

First, in Houston, I'm going Bungles to cover +3 and take the game outright. Upset City!

Next, in the Big Easy of New Orleans, I have the Saints -10.5 in a landslide. In fact, I'm also taking the OVER of 59.0 points. It's going to be a laugher, gents.

Next, in New Jersey, I'm going Falcons to take +3 at the Giants. Two unpredictable teams, but also a situation where the G-Men are expected to win. You know what that means... those mental minded Big Blue will lay an egg.

Lastly, we go to Denver, where the only thing high right now is the altitude for the game. The Broncos have hit on very hard times, and rumors circulated that Brady Quinn could take Tebow's place at quarterback if the game gets out of hand. In light of this, I'm still picking Denver +9.0 in a reasonably low scoring game.

There's your Wild Card picks. Enjoy the games, all.

Dave's Chain-LOCKS of the Week... booooo!

Happy Haunting everyone...

The spooks and ghosts are out on the town tonight
America sits in and watches in fright
As the Cowboys, Lions, Dolphins, and Patriots start to fight
Do join us as we witness the wickedly flight...

of

Dave's (AAAAAHH!!)
LOCKS (EEEEEK!!!)
of the Week (NOOOOOO!!!)


Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Hallo-week 9

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, AAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH... huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhhuh, heheheheh, hahahahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhh (clomp)

-- The Famous Words of Vincent Price

Good Evening... you are about to enter the Dungeon of Doom... AND NEVER COME BACK!!! Time for another chilling good time on LOCKS of the Week.

Let's begin... Going.... DOWWWWNNN????

woohoohahahahahaha

Pipe Organ: "TWEEEEEE!"

First, to Chicago... where the Bears host the Lions coming off a bye week. 'Tis a mismatch of THRILLING proportions. So much so that the Bears own the Lions in many different ways. But this week the ghosts of Wayne Fontes and Barry Sanders will exorcise the hapless Bears and cover the humongous (+13.0) point spread.

Ashes to Ashes and Dust to Dust, up and away, to NASHVILLE we must! The Ghastly Titans are at home to play the Green Bay Flessssssh Packers. The Titans are due for a let down game... but not today! We shall be witness to a Tennessee Chainsaw Massacre on the Packers as the Titans (-5.5) win by at least a touchdown. BRRRRR-RUM-RUM-RUM!!!

Now we go Six Feet Unnnnder to the depths of THE BLACK HOLE. Welcome to Oakland, CA. The Oakland Raiders are up against the upstart Feasting Falcons. The Falcons are favored by a field goal (-3.0), and are sure to get that margin. Give the points to the Falcons.... IF YOU DARE, MUAHAHAHAHHH.

That covers this monster mash on

Dave's (zap!)
LOCKS (fwa-POW!!)
of the Week (BOOM!)


Happy Halloween everybody!!!


Recap: Lions (+13.0) cover at Bears; Titans (-5.5) cover at home; Falcons (-3.0) cover at Raiders

Week 1: Here at last!! It's Dave's LOCKS of the Week

*Ahem* where's that record?

PPPFFFFFFT!

Aaaaah, something to remember
Aaaaah, dancin' in September

It's SEPTEMBER!!!

It's FOOTBALL SEASON!!!

It's THE BIG 12!!!

(ok no it isn't)

It's

[cue monty python music]

Dave's (boink!)
LOCKS (doink!)
of the Week (bonnnnnnng!)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 1

:::SQUASH:::

Hello again everybody and WELCOME to the greatest four months of our year. It's here! Football is at our footstep. Boy aren't you all so glad you waited out 78 meaningless basketball games, and then 259 meaningless baseball games? Now we have the goods.

Let's kick off the season with the battle of Favre. Miami, Florida! All we talk about is Favre! Is this for real or a Madden fantasy? ...and, are there other players in the NFL?

Of course there are! In fact there's a whole team called the Dolphins, 1-15 last year, much better odds this year. They even have a good quarterback, Chad Pennington. They have a pretty good defense too! Bill parcells, the big tuna trader, did a remarkable job restoring credibility to the Dolphins. Will it translate to wins? Do you believe in Miracles? YES!! YES!!!

UPSET SPECIAL ALERT!!! The Dolphins (+3.0 at home) are going to beat the Jets, my friend. Might be by a field goal... might even win by more, but Rock, Jet, Flippers... c'mon you know flippers wins every time! BRING THAT TUNA UPSTREAM and pick the Dolphins to win and shock the northeast!

Let's go a little further upstream, all the way to Atlanta, GA.

Now, the Falcons haven't been able to get up off the ground the last two seasons. Basically they said "Take... these broken wings and learn to fly again, learn to live free..." Free from that dope Michael Vick that is. The Falcons are a really young team, so young that some still have their pacifiers. Yet, they do have an underrated D. More than that, the favored Lions (-3.0) have no defense. No veterans? No experience? No problem!

Take a free ride and bet the HOUSE on the Falcons to cover as a rare home underdog. You can take that to the POUND.. um er, I mean bank.

Finally we'll fly from the Georgia Dome to the banks of three rivers. Yep, we, are headed to Pittsburgh, the Steel City!

The Steelers are a 6.5 pt. favorite vs the Houston Texans. But we're talking about two very very explosive offenses in warm weather. Two things are gonna happen... ok three things!

1st, the entire steel industry is going to shut down to watch the game
2nd, the over under of 43 pts is going to be shattered! CRASH!
3rd, and most important, I'm taking the (ba ba ba bum) deep in the HEARRRT of TEXANS to cover the massive 6.5 spread.

and THAT is

Dave's (sploosh!)
LOCKS (clomp!)
of the Week (ping!)

Happy Kickoff Everyone!

---

To review:

Dolphins (+3.0) cover and win vs Jets
Falcons (+3.0) cover vs Lions
Texans (+6.5) cover at Steelers

plus

Take the over for the HOU/PIT game (43 pts)