Dave's LOCKS of the Week, Week 15

Last Chrsitmas, I gave you my heart

The very next day, you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears,

I'm giving you

Dave's (ring ring!)

LOCKS (ho ho ho!)

of the Week (bing bong!)

Dave's IT'S A WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS OR SO LOCKS of the Week

Week 15

Season's Greetings Gentlemen and Gentle Ladies! It's our week before Xmas picks here on LOCKS of the Week. This week, we feature several interesting matchups. LOCKS went 3-0, to put the season record at 23-16!! oooh baby, now time to lock in the picks:

First! To the Thursday night game in Jacksonville... The Indianapolis C*O*L*T*S are a medic crew right now. EVERYBODY is injured! 20+ players! It's time for Dave to make his...

STUPENDOUS GUARANTEE OF THE MONTH (tm)

The Jaguars *will*, not might, not could, I say WILL beat the Colts on Thursday night! There's no point spread, but I have this thing under LOCK and key. Stop thinking about benching starters, Colts fans. Jags take it, BELIEVE IT!

Next! To the Steel City where the mighty have fallen... and fallen, and fallen and FALLEN. The Steelers, two months ago would be a 7 point favorite this week hosting the Packers. Today, they are barely a 1 point favorite. Even though Pittsburgh falls on hard times, I'll take the Stillllers to cover (+1) and beat the Pack. The Law of Averages has to win sometime... I find it hard to believe that this team would lose 6 games in a row.

Lastly I'll be headin' to Nashville where both teams could potentially be without their starting QB. The Titans host the Dolphins, and Titans fans will continue to keep the faith! The game is a pick 'em, which means (no line). I'm taking the Titans to pick up the pace and beat the Dolphins outright, at home.

I saww mommy kissing

Dave's (smooch!)

LOCKS (riiip!)

of the Week (bling!)

Merry Christmas to you and Chanukkah to others of you!

Review: JAX (no line) at home; PIT (-1) at home; TEN (no line) at home

...and featuring the Jaguars as "The Icebreaker"

The Jaguars are in a rare spot. It turns out that not only did they play the two remaining winless teams, but they will also play the one remaining undefeated team, all in a row.

Back in Week 9, the Jaguars traveled to Cincinnati to play the Bungles who, at the time, did not have a win. The Bungles pulled the upset and defeated the Jaguars 21-19

This week, the Jaguars traveled to Detroit to play the also winless Detroit Lions. This time, the Jags took care of business and clobbered the Lions 38-14.

Next week is Week 11, and the Jaguars will be at home to play the 9-0 Tennessee Titans.

It's not the first time one team played both a winless team and an undefeated team in the same season. Just last year, the Ravens, Eagles, Giants, Redskins, and Cowboys faced both the winless Dolphins and the undefeated Patriots, not to mention fellow division mates Buffalo and the Jets.

It *is* however, very rare to play both teams back to back, as the Jaguars will this month. It is even rarer to play two winless teams back to back, and it is supremely rare to play two winless teams and one undefeated team in a row.

The Jaguars' recent schedule is akin to hitting blackjack in three straight hands. If they somehow defeat the Titans, they'll be one of a select few to lose to an 0-fer team and beat an undefeated team all in the same month. Obviously, I am not counting teams that were perfect in September, since most teams can start 0-4 or 4-0.

Can the Jaguars upset the Titans to leave their blemish on perfection? We'll be sure to find out a week from now!

Week 6: Attack of the Giant LOCKS of the Week!

Somewhere in Tokyo, a giant point spread attacks the city. Hapless denizens are powerless to stop them! Even firefighters can't put it out. Japan is doomed, unless... unless it can call on the powers of

Dave's (STOMP!)
LOCKS (grooowwwwl!)
of the Week (bonk!)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 6

Fooled ya! You thought I'd roll out some baseball themed "LOCKS" this week? Nope! Instead we gotta attack these giant point spreads! Here we have the "league of no gimmies," and yet we have not one but TWO giant point spreads this week. I love me a spread like Kirstie Alley at the buffet (hah! Speaking of giant Japanese attacking monsters, right?).

To the picks!!

First giant spread of the day is in our nation's capitol, Washington, D.C. Take a jet ride to the big football park over in Landover, MD. It's the LARGEST NFL stadium in the country, holding over 90,000 loyal fans. For the last 10 or so years we saw 90,000 rip-offs from the Redskins. This year it's different. HAIL TO THE REDSKINS INDEED! Time to go Hoggin'! After storming to a 4-1 record, America's "other" team is poised to devour some St Louis Rams!

St. Louis Rams go so well with a touch of 11 spices and BBQ sauce, but instead let's devour the point spread. +13.5?! Are they nuts? Did they not watch the Cincy/Dallas game last week? Never underestimate the opponent, especially a team looking for its first win. HAIL TO THE RRRRRAMS... that's right, the RAMS (+13.5) cover that huge spread and keep the game close.

Next, we move to the other meanacing point spread, looming over the land of 10,000 lakes. We're sailing on to Minneapolis! The Minnesota Vikings of Minneapolis (-13.0) are home to host the hapless Detroit Lions (of Detroit). Oof, talk about your mismatches... the Vikings new purple people eaters vs the sack magnet that is the Lions. This could get ugly before the first Joe Buck Promo on Fox. ouch! Look for the Vikes to Slam-a-lama (BONNNNG!) DING DONG the Lions and cover the (-13.0). This ain't just giving points... this is flat out charity!

Remember that Daft Punk song, "One More Time?" I'm a-gonna try one more time to pick a Denver Broncos game right. DAMN THOSE BRONCOS!! Damn Them!! I hate it!! When I pick them to cover, they blow it... when I pick the other team to cover, they blow it! ARRRGH. Enough with that... back to Invesco Field! Last pick of the day.

We just slayed the two big point spreads of the day. Now it's time to tear down premonitions. How could I not be inspired by the Jags' defense against Pittsburgh last week? They lost, but they played well. The Broncos have no defense, and yet, they're favored by (-3.5). Bag that sucka, and take the Jags to take a bite out of equine! Jags to cover the spread (+3.5) at Mile High/Invesco. Jags have NO RESPECT, I tell ya, NO RESPECT!!

and THAT's how it is on

Dave's (dink!)
LOCKS (donk!)
of the Week (doink!)

and this week, before Andrew's preview, I want to add a hearty GO TEXAS!! I'll say it now, and never root for the Longhorns again. Beat OU! Beat OU! Beat OU!! Enjoy the picks everyone.



Recap: Rams (+13.5) cover at Redskins; Vikings (-13.0) cover at home; Jaguars (+3.5) cover at Broncos

LOCKS Week 2 Recap: My gambling license should be revoked.

0-3!!!

This is, quite possibly, the worst week in LOCKS of the Week History. I'm too embarrassed to go into the details but here's my three picks from Week 2:

Jax (-5.5) to cover: I have badly underestimated the Bills.
Seahawks (-7.0) to cover and win: I had a bad feeling about this one on Friday. Dammit!
and then the big one
Bolts (-1.5) for the win: Hosed by the usually awesome Hochuli, but he knew when he called the play it was a mistake, and it doesn't matter anyway.

This leads me to my long anticipated rant on the San Diego Chokers. First of all, great defense you played there. Here we go saying you're the best team on paper, and then you give up 39 points!! 39!!!!!!! The Steelers, Patriots, and Vikings don't give up 39 points in TWO games.

See, I was all prepped to give the Chargers a 14-2 prediction, but several things made that claim impossible. First of all, they have quite possibly the worst coach in the division. That's really saying something in a division with Herm Edwards.

Secondly, while I hate to use schedule as a crutch, the Chargers face stiffer competition this year.

Finally, and all you Charger fans out there, I'm sorry for being so obnoxious, but anyway, finally, there's a lot of showoffs on that team. You get Rivers, leader of the showoffs... then LT, who actually backs up his play, and finally Merriman who does little indian dances after basic tackles. It's a little annoying.

Merriman, of course, is now out for the season, but like Justin Timberlake says, what goes around come around... sometimes.

The Chargers ought to bounce back from this and win the West, but it doesn't speak well to the Lightning Blokes' killer instinct.

More football thoughts upcoming... thoughts? Post your comments here!