Thanksgiving LOCKS of the Week: Part 5

It's time to give thanks, break out the Turkey and hope for some good football on the THANKSGIVING...

Dave's (gobble)
LOCKS (sizzle)
of the Week (chop!)

I've been looking forward to writing these picks all week. I have a really good feeling about all three teams in Week 12. What better way to feast on success than on Thanksgiving, the ultimate eating holiday this side of Independence Day! Here's what we have for Thanksgiving in the NFL:

In Detroit: I'm going Packers solidly to win and cover -6.5. While the game is on the road, and while the Packers struggle defensively lately, I think that's a pretty small point spread for a team that is magnificent at scoring points. It's Rodgers, it's Jones, it could be Jennings, and more. While Stafford, Johnson, and Smith may be a good counter, I also think the Packers eat the Lions alive. Pack -6.5.

In Dallas: We've often struggled with this game with the results being less than stellar, but in recent years we've seen some pretty good games in Texas. I would give the Dolphins a fair shot, but overall I think the Cowboys STILL cover the spread of -7. Dallas in a semi-close one.

Finally, in Baltimore: the Crab city hosts the hotter than fire 49ers with an old defense that's still going strong. The Ravens' Joe Flacco is erratic but is also facing some breaks: He's playing at home, he's going against a team that's traveled a long way on short rest, and he's got the momentum of having beaten Cincinnati the week before. I like the Ravens to win outright and give the -3.

Gobble up for your Thanksgiving action on

Dave's (zzzzzz!)
LOCKS (ding!)
of the Week (conk)

Enjoy your Thanksgiving everyone, and hope it's a good time for you and your family.

Dave's LOCKS of the Week: Week 16

From my Christmas travels it's time for

Dave's (plop)
LOCKS (bonk)
of the Week (fwop)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 16

Again a Merry Christmas to you all! This week, an adbridged LOCKS of the Week to round out the second to last week of the season. You can bet everyone has the holidays on their mind, but let's hope they also have playoffs on their mind too. LOTS of teams still in it for the playoffs. TO THE PICKS!

First, let's do the easy one: Pittsburgh at Balitmore. I don't see how the Ravens lose this game, and to top it off, they get points! Quoth the Ravens "we get points? How did that happen?" The Oddsmakers are pretty smart on this one. They not only factor in the teams but the fans too. Imagine... they're having coffee and say "wow, all those goober Steeler fans must think they're going to run the table now... let's make them a FAVORITE!" No way should the Steelers be favored in this game, but Vegas has played the crowd and made them a 2.5 pt favorite. I want the Steelers to win so badly, but I'm going to use the brain instead and flock to the underdog. I'm going Ravens (+2.5)!

Next to Indianapolis, where the still undefeated Colts are playing the still in it Jets...

STILL the ONE, we're 14-0
STILL the ONE, we barely beat San Francisco
We're still having fun but we're STILL THE ONE.

C'mon, has there ever been a less convincing 14-0 team in NFL history? You gotta be kidding me with all these wins the Colts are pulling out of their pants... Even a magician couldn't pull off half these tricks. I'm not convinced by this team, and furthermore, with everything clinched, I imagine they may not have full intensity for this game. Jets are getting (+5.5). I'm taking the points and taking the Jets out in flyover country.

Finally, we go back in time a couple days to Christmas Day (the last two picks were for Sunday games). The Titans face the Chargers on Thursday Night Football! Yes, I said "Thursday Night Football". YES, they have one. No, I know most people don't get the NFL network... YES, I know Padres cable access baseball gets a bigger audience than NFL network.... I know, I know... ok ok.

Anyway, the Titans are rightfully favored by (-3). One might think that's a mistake, but after the 0-6 start, Tennessee has been doing a marvelous job battling back to about .500 . This team will have a ton to play for, and statistically speaking, the Chargers are due for a loss after 9 straight wins. Not to mention, Chris Johnson leads a Titans running attack that is near the top of the league (2nd overall in YPC). If the Titans are able to exert the runinng attack, it should allow for them to control the clock and minimize Philip Rivers' effectiveness. I'm going BIG, TITAN BIG and I'm going Tennessee (-3) on X-mas day.

I went 1-1-1 last week (yuck) and hope to turn it around this time on

Dave's (dink)
LOCKS (donk)
of the Week (beep beep)

Again, here are the picks: Bal (+2.5) at Pit; NYJ (+5.5) at Indy; TEN (-3) at home

Week 15: Dave's QUICKIES of the Week!

Once again we're back at it again, here to bring you good pick until the end.
A week ago we were 0-3, but this time we'll pick 'em rightfully
So don your gay apparel high, and witness here as we try

Dave's (ring!)
LOCKS (ding!)
of the Week (dong!)

The Holidays are upon us indeed. Pretty soon Hanukah arrives and then the big one... Christmas Day. May we commercialize to our hearts content!! Now then, let's round our our season with a bang, starting here with Week 15's big time LOCKS of the Week.

To the picks!!

To ARIZONA we go... Would you believe the Cardinals have no line against the visiting Vikings? Is that for real? No line??? Take the Cards!! They're stellar at home and figure to be a cinch against the mediocre Vikes... EASY MONEY! Cards (no line) win outright at home vs the Land-o-Lakes

Now let's soar like a Cardinal from Glendale to the Queen City. On the banks of the river, the Bungles play out their season on a string. Poor Bungles... so much hype for so little output. The Bungles had their run, but now they flat out SUCK. They're getting 7 points at home against the Redskins, but the 'skins are mad! They've been lashing out at each other, and now will want to dominate to get back on track. I think the Redskins cover the (-7.0) and get a huge win at Cincinnati!

Finally let's float down a few rivers from Cincinnati to Baltimore. Time for some Crabcakes and delicious seafood. Imagine a Ravens fan this weekend: hmm, Crabcakes or a Ravens game? Both look ugly, but get me results! If ever the Ravens looked like a LOCK to win, this was the game. The Steelers are riding high but highly beat up. Their offensive line has been weak all year long. Joe Flacco is servicable, which is all you ask for as a Ravens fan. I like the Ravens a lot! The Ravens are (-2.0) favorites and I like them to get it done. Ravens cover the (-2.0) at home.

Ho Ho Ho!! Season's Greetings on

Dave's (blink!)
LOCKS (clump!)
of the Week (bonk!)

Only a few days until Christmas! Stay safe out there!!

Recap: Cardinals (no line) win outright at home; Redskins (-7.0) cover at Cincy; Ravens (-2.0) cover at home

Week 12: Dave's VENEGANCE of the Week!

You thought you had me! You thought you could pull that junk on me, all three of you picks! How dare you all!! NOT AGAIN!! I'm coming BACK BABY and with a venegance on

Dave's (BOOM!)
LOCKS (FOOM!!)
of the Week (ZOOM!!!)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 12

0-3 last week! It was so embarrassing I couldn't even show my face on the internet. I can't believe how all three picks betrayed me. One of them spoiled late, such as the Titans pick (you SUCK Jacksonville). Another one didn't bother to show up (way to go Eagles! You can't even win OR lose the game!)

So what am I doing? I'm going back and picking ALL THREE TEAMS AGAIN!!

To BALTIMORE we go! Quoth the Ravens, "again? Stop picking against us!"

Ok.. I won't. I'm goin' with the Ravens (-1.0). I'm so mad I can't take it any more. Ravens WIN BY 96!!! against PHILLY. SCREW YOU EAGLES!!!

Let's soar from the battle of the birds out to the Tale of the Titans in Nashville, Tennesee. This week the Titans are playing.... The Titans? Yep, back in the old days, before the Jets (+5.5) were "the Jets" the New York AFC Team was known as the "New York Titans". The "new" Titans have much better uniforms than the old Titans did. Oof... did you see the link? MUCH better!

So I'm a gonna go Old School and pick the New York "old Titans" aka J-E-T-S JETS JETS BRETTS!! Jets win by 508 points. FORGET YOU ALL TENNESSEE TITANS!! I HOPE YOU LOSE EVERY GAME THE REST OF THE SEASON!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Now let's go from that Titanic rumble to our final pick of the week, back West where all the beautiful fishes play. Let's swing it back to San Diego, where we find the final team on the Hit list. The Indianapolis Blokes, I mean COLTS are a lock to cover against the Chargers (-3.0), right? No they're not!! Let's not get carried away everyone. The Chargers' defense is much better and you KNOW SD wants blood from last year's regular... wait they beat Indy in the playoffs. Ah what the hell it's DAVE WHO WANTS BLOOD! DIE COLTS DIE!!! ..at least this week. Chargers dominate and clobber the Colts: Bolts 1,354,768; Colts 10.

Grudge? What grudge? There you have it on

Dave's (bang!)
LOCKS (thump!)
of the Week (splash!)

Revenge never tasted so, so, sweet. Hope your weekend brings good fun and great harmony. Hope you enjoy the NFL this week!


Recap: Ravens (-1) cover at home; Jets (+5.5) cover at Titans; Chargers (-3.0) cover at home

Week 5: The Great LOCKS Debate... of the week

Thursday, Capitol Hill

Speaker of the House: Hear! Hear! We are here to decide on Dave's LOCKS.

Congressman: Are we bailing out Dave's LOCKS of the Week?

Speaker: No!!! We're gonna whisper some good advice and get him back on his feet!

It's

Dave's (bang! bang!)
LOCKS (BONG!)
of the Week (clickclickclickclickclick...)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 5

Hey everybody! Hope your bank accounts are safe and sound, or present. Take whatever you can get... stocks are on shaky ground, just like Lane Kiffin was last week. WHERE'S MY RIMSHOT?!

Anyway, if the Stock Market was a betting website, it'd be this place. Whoof! 0-3 last week? My goodness!! Duck for cover now!! Let's turn that bear into a bull shall we?

To the picks!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need a little karma here, so let's go in reverse order:

LAST we go to the Valley of the Sun, Glendale, Arizona!! In the Valley of the Sun is a beautiful new stadium so eloquently named for a commuter college. Fantastic! It's the Arizona Cardinals hosting the Hot Buffalo Sauce Bills! Tasty!!

How good are the Bills? Actually, I don't know, but against the spread they're 3-1... not too bad for a team on the rise. Meanwhile the Cardinals are absolutely dreadful on the road and on a 2 game losing streak. Something's gotta give. I could go into stats, but instead I'll pose a question: If a Bill is caught dead in the desert and there were no vultures around, guess who gets to eat up? THE CARDINALS!!! I'm picking the Cardinals to cover their meager spread (-1.0) and fatten up on dead Buffalo in their beautiful home field.

NEXT we go back to Texas Stadium! Boy has that place been good to me. First, their local team, the Cowboys, and how about them Cowboys, all but guaranteed a Redskins cover (which I stupidly didn't list on LOTW). It also hosted the recent Cowboys/Eagles game. Remember that shootout? It's a shame this place is closing down. They're shutting down like Carson Palmer against the blitz! SMACK!

But you know what? Give the Bungles some credit. Two weeks ago they nearly shocked the Giants in the Meadowlands. The Bungles are playing good football! Am I calling for a BUNGLES UPSET OF THE WORLD? Of course not... but look at the line! (-17.0) for the Cowboys? That's just ridiculous. The oddsmakers are basically saying "Here! Take our money! We don't want it!" Are these guys stock brokers?

We all love Tony Romo, but the only Tony you should count on is TONY THE TIGER and he's on the Bengals... Bengals to cover (-17.0). Take the points. They're GRRRRRRRRRRREAT!

and FIRST we travel to Baltimore, the Home of Michael Phelps, and to a lesser degree, Katie Hoff, and to a lesser degree than that, the Orioles.

The Ravens are poised to dominate again on defense against another great defensive team. There's only one problem. IT'S THE TITANS!! Do they feel the upset? Quoth the Ravens, "never mo'". I'll tell you why. The Titans are undefeated against the spread and are phenomenal against the spread going back to '06. If they're favored, they cover. If they're dogs, they'll cover. and against the dregs of the NFL they played this month... oh they covered baby!

Besides, Tennessee has THE best turnover radio in the NFL, +6! The Ravens? A measley +1. So what time is it Ravens? Game time? Nope, it's time for you to LOSE! Ray Lewis, you're a nutjob. Are the Titans gonna cover (woof woof woof woof!)? They're favored by (-3.0) on the road (woof woof woof woof!)! Ravens don't have a chance. Give the pts and let's start TITANS FEVER!!

BANG BANG!!

Speaker: All in favor of Dave's Picks Say "Aye"

Congress: AYE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaker: Meeting adjourned!

BANG!! for

Dave's (grumble)
LOCKS (mumble)
of the Week (bump!)


Recap: Titans (-3.0) cover at Baltimore; Bengals (-17!!) cover at Dallas, Cardinals (-1.0) cover at home