Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Week 16: Hardest LOCKS of the Week Evah!!!

Regis: And now, Dave, for the Million Dollar question...
Dave: Ok, what is it?
Regis: For 1 MILLION Dollars... WHO will cover the spread in the Carolina/Giants game?

[dramatic music]

Dave: um... can I have a lifeline???


Dave's (slam!)
LOCKS (blam!)
of the Week (squeak)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 16

Holy Moly! Is this the hardest LOCKS of the Week in LOTW history or what? Every single game on the schedule has a line of 7.5 points per less. How would any bettor succeed in this environment? We shall try, hard as we might...

To the picks!!

First, for the easy one. This would be like the 100 dollar question in "Millionaire." Stuff like "What is the number that comes after 1 and 2?" or "Will the Pats cover (-7.5) at home vs Arizona?"

Easy money!! Are you kidding? The Cardinals are really clunking down the stretch. After that laugher against Minnesota, and with the Pats fighting for their lives, and with a QB that loves to turn the ball over anyway, the Cardinals are going to get POUNDED this Sunday. Give the points and let NE steamroll the cardnials so that their breathren Vultures can com after them. Pats ALL OVER the Cardinals...

Next! BACK to Detroit we go... Mooo-tor City. It's too bad the Lions (+7.0) can't get a bailout like the Auto Industry. What a drag. Instead, they'll try to salvage an otherwise win-less season by facing the New Orleans Saints who are absoultely FINISHED in the NFC South. Bush is now out, the Lions have been playing hard all year, the winds of change are upon us... Give it to Detroit and shoo-be-doo, doo-woooooop, LIONS COVER (+7) BABY!!

Finally we head a little west to the Land O' Lakes in Minneapolis. The Vikings appear to be hot, but they're really just average. Sure they won back to back games, but who doesn't? It's the NFL! Even the Rams won back to back games this year. The Vikes face the visiting Falcons, and its going to be the greatest running matchup alive: the Vikes top rated rush defense vs the Falcons #1 rated running game. I'M CALLING FOR THE UPSET! The Falcons are going on the road with their superior, albeit rookie, QB and shocking the NFL. Atlanta is a (+3.5) dog and they will win outright baby! Atlanta covers!

Pencils down! Those are your specials here on

Dave's (blip blop!)
LOCKS (crinkle!)
of the Week (squish!)

and Happy Holidays to everyone out there.

Recap: Pats (-7.5) cover at home; Lions (+7.0) cover at home; Falcons (+3.5) cover at Minnesota

No comments: