Thursday, May 30, 2013

"Add on" guy...

It's a slow day, as they say, so I had some thoughts about the social condition.   Enjoy these observations if you could...

When someone asks you to join in an event, it's a good thing.  Happy Hours, parties, sporting events, all sorts of things.  What happens if you become "Add-on" guy though?  You know what I mean:  You're talking with a friend about something and then the topic of something the friend is already doing comes up.  He asks "you can come and join us if you want."  

Intriguing, no?   Why didn't he bring up this event with you in the first place?  Did he really have you in mind to go from the beginning?   You've just entered the world of "add-on" guy.    An existing affair for which friends only after the fact casually invited others.

Now, this depends on what the event is and the circumstances, but I think if you get recruited as the add-on guy you can take it multiple ways.  Maybe you weren't really in the mood to do anything that night so you're happy to be acknowldeged at all but don't care enough to follow through.


You're bored enough, and don't have anything to do so you opt into the event, being the "person of addage."  


What tends to be the common thought -- "What is this friend doing waiting until I brought up the idea to invite me?  How come he didn't want me to go in the first place.  If he came up with the idea, why wasn't I invited right away?"

That's when you really start to think.  What would have construed this oversight?

Maybe one just forgot about it... he had an idea to go somewhere but wasn't pondering the group to join him.   It happens, and I doubt it's personal.

Maybe one didn't want to oversaturate a week with a specific person and opted for a different change of pace, assuming the other friend had plans.  This can be the case sometimes.

Then there's a whole lot of other possibilities.

Whatever the case may be we've all seen both sides of the "Add-on guy"... either you or I have been the "Add-on" guy or we've BEEN the one to recruit a wayward colleague as the add-on.

It's a very deep thinking process, many layers, isn't it?  That's all I have for now.

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