Week 2: Welcome to LOCKS of Our Lives, er, The Week

...previously on LOCKS of Our Lives

Friend: Yo, Vince! Vince!! You okay man?
Vince Young (about to jump out window): I can't live anymore, I gotta end it now!
Friend: No Vince! Is it the media scrutiny?
VY: No! I lost all my money on Dave's LOCKS of the Week.

Here it comes... it's!

Dave's (slap!)
LOCKS (pow!)
of the Week (fwap!)

Dave's LOCKS of the Week
Week 2

Back at it again for Week 2 of the NFL. I call it Brothers and Sisters week! It's almost as if every team is playing its division rival. Gridiron incest at its finest, let's begin!

We go down to the big swamp, way down in Jacksonville, Florida. We don't know too much about the Jags or Bills yet, but we know this: Jacksonville plays great defense and dominates teams at home, and the Bills still don't have a big-time QB. Watch as those Jags (-5.5) show off their spots and mash their teeth into the Bills defense, for a HUGE bounceback win. They'll cover *and* devour.

Now out from the sludge in Florida, hopefully past some hurricanes and back up to Seattle! What? I thought we just escaped all the rain. Seattle seems like a big showerhead sometimes, and with their big home opener vs the 49ers, good times are ahead. The Seahawks (-7.0) could barely jump, let alone fly, but this week, they'll SOAR, up to the highest mountain, sacking O'Sullivan with every swoop. How are they only a 7 point favorite?? The Seahawks are gonna STORM the 49ers and win by way more than 7.

Finally, down the puget sound, over the river and through the hills we go to that ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH, Denver, CO! The Broncos have a home opener of their own against the Chargers. Ah, but pity the horse who thinks they'll win. The Chargers have dominated the Broncos in the last 3 years, most of them with Philip Rivers. I could go on, but the Broncos defense still blows against the run. THIS GAME GOES zzzt zzzt zzt all the way down and the BOLTS (-1.5) will flash a W on the road.

so tha--bzzzzzzt OWW! does it for

Dave's (zap!)
LOCKS (clack!)
of the Week (fwit!)

Recap: Jags (-5.5) cover at home, Seahawks (-7) cover at home, Chargers (-1.5) cover at Broncos