Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Story of the Snooty Barista (and other such counter persons)

I'm sure almost all of you have run into the delicate genius snooty barista at Starbucks or similar guys and gals behind your local counter, right?   Well, today was another one...

We set the scene around 8:55 this morning, Santa Monica's richest and nicest neighborhood.  I went to Marmalade Cafe for a coffee and some breakfast and I found a new guy behind the counter.   And I think he saw me and it seemed like I was just getting in his way.  We've all run into those...  I went over and looked at the menu, right?  Just to see what all their signature items were, and the guy goes.  "It's BREAKFAST, here's the *breakfast* menu."  Then he hands me the breakfast menu on a small laminated yellow paper.

Now, first things first... did we really need the attitude for me looking at the lunch menu?   Just because I saw it doesn't mean I was going to deliberately order fliet mignon chili at 9am in the morning!  Come on now!  I was just curious as to what the fare *might* be.   Now, I know he wants me to order something they can help me with but here it wasn't really what he said it was how he said it.

On a separate note, Filet Mignon Chili sounds really delicious today... might be worth a look if it's not expensive.

Moving on, I looked at their fancy breakfast menu.  All really good choices, but man!   So expensive!   All I wanted today was a breakfast burrito and the thing costs 9 bones.   I don't have an issue with 9 bone burritos so long as we have the understanding that its a sit down restaurant and the burrito came with sides.  That was the case here, but I was really looking forward to a $5.99 takeout version instead... I just had no idea which way they'd go.

So I ordered a French Roast coffee.  It's Peerless Brand coffee, one of my favorites.   I asked for it in a large size, and he goes "We only have ONE size."

WELL EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME!   For most of us jokers who go to Starbucks and Coffee Bean and Peet's every day we are used to having multiple sizes.   Anyway, I ordered the damn coffee.  He gives it to me and I don't even bother with a tip this time.  He didn't say thank you or have a nice day or anything, so I'm done with it.   That guy is going to have to face his own demons.

Now as for the coffee, the french roast was pretty good, but I also think that Marmalade does their Peerless coffee differently than NY Bagel.   Marmalade is watering it down... and I know that because at NY Bagel, one sip of their Peerless French Roast feels like a kick in the pants.  I mean it is *good.*  Here, it's like the same thing but dialed back quite a lot, so it's more like a pat on the back.   I mean ugh, ok, but not what I was hoping for.

To put it in perspective, I drank the Marmalade version without much hesitation at all.  I drank it black, even.  I usually put milk in the NY Bagel coffee and it still kicks me solid.

Then I microwaved two Hebrew National hot dogs and had a most unusual breakfast.  Those hot dogs, when you microwave them in the bun, taste really good.  Seems counter-intuitive, but the fact is, microwaved hot dogs wrapped in a paper towel create the effect of a steamed hot dog.   Huge fan.  I'm tempted to have two more... must resist!

Where was I?   Yeah, attitude in Santa Monica is very real, but it's only with a few select jokers, and to be honest, I prefer this over the disingenuous "fake nice" demeanor I'd get from servers in Beverly Hills.

Hey, if you're going to be a jerk, be honest with it right?   I can respect that.

Speaking of respect, wait until I tell you the story of the snooty High End Audio salesman.   I'll get to that soon.  More to come...

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